oncall sex for life: sleep

Showing posts with label sleep. Show all posts

Whiplash

My neck was killing me yesterday, and it's slightly better today, but still hurts a lot. I can't bend my head backward without pain unless I support it with my hand, and turning it in either direction hurts. Along with that, the left front side of my neck is tender to the touch. I called the doctor and he prescribed me some muscle relaxers, so I picked those up and took one last night with more Ibuprofen. It knocked me out around 7:30-45 or so, and I slept almost continuously until 8 this morning. I had nightmares again, but that isn't anything new.

I have a doctor appointment today so he can write me a script for physical therapy and see if anything else is wrong with me. When I was hit, I had my right foot on the brake, and rammed down harder at impact. My shin hurt off and on that day, but doesn't hurt any longer. It does feel kinda swollen and funny on the front of my shin, so I'm going to tell him about that as well when I go in. There is no bruise or anything. It's just sort of puffy feeling and swollen.

I hope these muscle relaxers continue to help. I'd take them during the day as well, but they knock me out, so they're just a nighttime sort of remedy. Thank you all for the caring comments!

Sorry, I know I should've flipped these, but I edited and saved before I realized it and now they look funny flipped, so just imagine the words are reflected correctly. So tired. My hair is in two big poofy buns at the back of my head à la Foxface in The Hunger Games, which is why it looks kind of weird in the pictures.

I even dreamed about practicing the cello last night. I am exhausted today. I just want to crawl back into bed and wake up tomorrow. But I won't. I will deal with today and then pull that lovely instrument out when I get home and practice.

Because I can fight like a girl.

Dream catharsis

Last night I had a dream that was very long and involved, and it culminated in a terrible fight between myself and my mother. I don't remember what we were fighting about, but I remember being very angry and upset, yelling and crying. These dreams are always horribly realistic.

Following that, I ended up in a bed that wasn't mine, with some creepy thing near me, and I had a feeling that everything was about to go downhill rapidly. I realized that I was dreaming and began slapping my face, screaming, trying to force my sluggish dream body to move and wake itself up in reality. It's such a strange feeling, knowing you're trapped inside your own mind and being unable to shake yourself loose from your prison, trying different tactics in an attempt to make the world shatter.

Finally it broke and I ended up in a new bed, but it still was wrong, still inside the dream. I knew because last night we'd found this old butterfly that I'd had in college, black with neon tubing that glows blue when it's plugged in, and we'd put it near my side of the bed. There was no blue butterfly in this fresh scenario, and I told the creepy thing lurking near me that I knew it was still a dream. It smiled at me with too many teeth, and I went back to trying to wake up.

Eventually I managed to shake myself awake, and I was just exhausted, emotionally and mentally. I felt sodden with fatigue after all that, but at least I knew I was in the real world again. The glow of the butterfly illuminated the dark bedroom and reassured me. I'm alternately wanting to go back to sleep again and dreading it today. I'm so tired, but I don't want to go back to those dreams. Maybe they will be better tonight.

I got some damn sleep!

Woohoo! I feel so much better. I took an Ambien and a dose of NyQuil before we had dinner, as I was beyond exhausted (yet perversely not sleepy, as is my wont), and it kicked in like a sledgehammer. I was out like a light at 6:30pm and slept until 8:00am this morning. Thank god for some modern pharmaceuticals!

I had the beginnings of a nightmare somewhere in the middle of my sleep, but headed it off before it could get really bad. This woman I was with started getting wrong looking. Her mouth opened too wide and her eyes turned black. I put my back against the wall and aimed this big stick I was carrying at her, just in case, then realized it was a dream.

I screamed as loud and long as I could, and I felt it reverberate through the dream. I slapped myself hard on the cheek and the dream levels fell away instantly. I woke up, and then everything felt all right again, so I snuggled in and went back to sleep.

These last couple of days it has been so foggy! I don't know if it's the same cloud that has been sitting on us for all this time or if it's different ones taking turns, but it was really hard to see last night. Here are some pictures I took. It's not the camera making everything look fuzzy. That was how thick the fog was.

Dragging today

Well, darlings, I think we've learned how many days I can go before Restoril quits working again. The last couple of nights it's been taking longer and longer to kick in, and last night I didn't get to sleep until around 3am, despite taking it at 8:30pm. That is a lot of boring time spent lying in the dark. I slept fitfully until I had to get up at 7:45, but fortunately no nightmares.

I'm going back to Ambien and NyQuil tonight, as I need to get some sleep. I told the doctor about all of this, so we'll see what he said. His original idea was for me to switch between the two anyway, but he'd asked me to continue on Restoril for a while to get some more data on how it worked with me.

I was going to write some more, but I am TIRED. So forget it. I want to go home and sleep. I hope you all have a smashingly successful weekend. Don't get the flu, k?

What I did this weekend OR how I threw up a wild boar and bought a bunch of books while on drugs

"Wtf?" you may be asking yourself, and for good reason. I asked myself the same damn thing this morning.

So here goes: last night St Patricus and I decided to go out to dinner. The restaurant in question shall remain nameless, because every other thing I've ever had there has been wonderful, and I don't think this horrid boar thing was their fault.

We went and mostly ordered our usual favorite things, but since the beef tenderloin I'd originally wanted had a sauce with Chianti in it and I didn't want to accidentally kill myself, I decided to order something else. The Saint thought he'd remembered eating their wild boar tenderloin before, and believed it was tasty, so I decided to give it a try.

Word to the wise: don't ever eat wild boar. It is not good. It tastes like a mixture of blood, beer, and dirty, sweaty socks. I ate the damn thing anyway, because the sauce was pretty good, and I didn't want to be rude. I know, bad idea.

Incidentally, we looked this stanky boar thing up afterward, and it turns out that unless the boar is castrated shortly after birth, his boary male hormones make the meat taste kind of horrible. So unless you are willing to demand of your waiter whether the boar you are contemplating dining on has been a eunuch for a very long time, I suggest avoiding it altogether.

It was damn cold out, and while I'd gone in to grab the table, poor St Patricus had been searching for a parking spot. He finally found one half a mile away (I am not making this up), and eventually hiked over to the restaurant. I felt like an asshole. Next time I will not care whether we get a table or not. I will just stay with him.

So, of course, when the meal was over we had to hike the half mile back to the car. SO COLD. Fortunately I was wearing wool socks and hiking boots. My stomach started feeling unsettled from the damn boar taint (that is actually what it's called, which didn't make me feel any better), and I was like oh no, now I'm going to get to taste this effing boar all over again, except WORSE.

We got home without any vomiting incidents, but I felt more and more icky, and finally just decided the boar had to go. I closed St Patricus in our bedroom so he couldn't hear my boar hurl, and then proceeded to evacuate the lot, which was really a pity because the rest of dinner had been excellent. But what are you going to do? Live with boar taint? Even tiramisu couldn't get rid of that rank taste.

SO. That was done. I took my stupid handful of pills, including Attempt #2 of Restoril, after brushing my teeth to get the taste of puked up boar stink out, and got into bed. This was around 10pm. About midnight I was feeling sleepy, but also curiously like I needed more books.

This will become interesting later, I promise.

I fell asleep and woke up around noon with the strangest feeling that I had mysteriously acquired a bunch of books. I pulled my Kindle up in front of me and turned it on. Dear God. Yeah, apparently I needed books. I think I bought like 10 of them while only semi-conscious. I guess this is better than like sleep-driving to Idaho and ending up in the drunk tank or something, but I still feel bad about it.

Anyway, the aptly named St Patricus says he does not mind that I drug-bought a bunch of books, so I will try to stop feeling guilty about it. Stupid drugs. Maybe tonight I will put my Kindle in the other room when I sleep, just in case.

I can't believe I threw up a wild boar and then drug-bought like 15 lbs of books. What a weekend. Anyone else have any exciting tales?

My superpower? Drug resistance.

Yo, guys. This sucks. I took one Restoril last night to sleep, and it did nothing. This is the 30mg dose, mind you, which is apparently the highest dose they make, and absolutely nothing. The pharmacist and doctor both even warned me that it was a really high dose and I should immediately get in bed when taking it. I took it at 8:30 or 9pm, sometime around there, and then we laid in bed for a while and then turned the lights off and absolutely nothing. The last time I remember looking at the clock it was 3am, and we had to get up at 7:30. I have no hangover feeling today, no side effects at all. It's like I never took the drug.

What. The. Hell.

WHYYYYY? I am displeased. This was supposed to be a Super Sleepy Time Cannon Drug for me, and nothing! I didn't want to take anything else, just in case it proved to have some weird interaction with my system and I accidentally murdered myself or projectile vomited or something, so I had a horrid night. I finally got some sleep after 3am, but it was all broken and terrible, and then we got up. UGH.

I am going to try it one more time tonight, and if it doesn't work tonight then I'm going back to my wonderful mixture of Ambien and NyQuil. At least that works sometimes.

Also, there was a burning bus on the I-5 express lanes this morning (that site is where I found these pictures), so traffic was an absolute nightmare. And the server at work is being fixed, so I can't really do anything useful. I should've just stayed home.

All the white stuff is fire-retardant foam, NOT snow.

Exciting!

I want a cupcake. Or a pumpkin spice latte. Or chocolate. SOMETHING.

WAAAH!

I will get over my complainy-ness soon, but right now I am unhappy and the world must know!

Are y'all sleepy? Hopefully I will be!

Well, I had my doctor appointment yesterday, and I think it was productive. We discussed my various problems and how to best approach them. He is hoping that giving me better sleep will also help the anxiety issues, and maybe it will. To that end, I'll be trying a new sleeping med, Restoril. It's a benzodiazepine, and I'm only supposed to take it a few days at a time. Apparently this is another of those do not take alcohol while you're on this or you'll be SORRY pills, so it's just as well that I'd already quit drinking due to the Lexapro. I was never much of a drinker, so I don't miss it. I've always hated the taste of ethanol. I'd make an awful alcoholic, if it were even possible, which I doubt. How can you get addicted to something you don't even like?

Anyway, we'll see how it goes. I'll be switching back and forth between this new med and Ambien, and hopefully a few nights of really good sleep will help me. Last night I tried just Ambien instead of adding Benadryl and NyQuil to the mix as well (I have REAL issues falling asleep), and it was hours before I finally drifted off. This wouldn't be such a problem if I didn't feel so terrible with less than about 8 hours of sleep. 9-10 is prime for me, and I've been known to sleep 15 hours at a stretch (not including surgery, after which of course I was knocked out). Getting too little sleep makes me sick to my stomach and I feel awful all day long. I cry really easily and everything seems horrible and overwhelming.

He also told me that I should feel a bit more free to take the Klonopin he gave me. I've been trying to use it very sparingly, but in retrospect I should probably use it before I've got a knife against my arm, you know? He's got a point. I will try to be a little more okay with taking it here and there when I'm stressed out. It's so hard to tell, though. The anxiety comes in rapid waves, and Klonopin takes a while to work. I'm never sure (except for some exceptional circumstances) when I am justified in taking it. I've never gotten a high off of anything, so that will never be a reason for me taking something. I just want to make sure I'm not wasting it. He gave me 10 pills back in October, and I think I've taken three of them. I split them all into halves, and that seems to work on me. Just knowing I have them is nice, too. Kind of reassuring.

I also got antibiotics for my wonderful lung problem, so hopefully that will stop the stupid wheezing and let me go back to normal. I'm going to get flu and pneumonia shots this afternoon at the pharmacy, along with my sleeping meds. They didn't have the Restoril in yesterday when we dropped by to fill the new scripts, so tonight will be my first test of it. Apparently, like Ambien, it can make you sleepwalk, sleep eat, sleep drive, etc.

It's all very exciting over here.

P.S. It's really damn cold. It was sleeting or something yesterday evening coming home, and there was a nasty mess of icy slush all over the grass this morning. Patrick heroically chiseled my car out of its frozen shell, and I am hoping it doesn't snow over the next few days. I have a lunch date with ma deuxième maman, you stupid weather! You'd better not make me reschedule...

My head is killing me (not literally)

This cold SUCKS. I'm sorry for not commenting on y'all's blogs. I am still reading, but my phone has quit allowing me to comment on them for some reason, and my head hurts too much to get up and do it at the laptop. I promise I am not ignoring any of you!

Thank you for the comments on the last one, girls. I have a doctor appointment on Wednesday, and we'll see what comes of it. I agree with you that something needs to change as far as the meds go!

We left an electric candle on last night, since sometimes having a light on makes the nightmares less bad when I wake up from them, and I slept all right. So I dug around and found a nightlight I bought years ago and plugged it in beside my bed. Maybe it will help. Can't hurt, anyway.

I hope you all have had a nice weekend. I'll definitely be glad when I'm feeling better.

Hibernating

Thank you all for your lovely comments on my previous post! It is a wonderful thing having such great people in your corner.

It's been really chilly here lately, and we even had snow on Wednesday morning. Fortunately it was nearly gone by the time we got home, but I always hate waking up and seeing that white stuff all over the ground. In this town, it means hellish traffic and the possibility of an accident.

I've been going to bed really early lately because I've been so sleepy (and tired, if I don't get about 10 hours of sleep per night), and last night I think I was in bed by 9. So, of course, I haven't gotten much done on any musical stuff this week, but hopefully I'll be sufficiently rested and creatively charged by this weekend.

Stay warm, everyone!

TMI Tuesday - Between the Sheets

Better late than never, right?

TMI Tuesday this week was submitted by My Undercover Metamorphosis. Thank you! Show her some love, stop by her blog and say hello.

1. A friend is coming to have sex. There are 3 twin beds and an air mattress in the room. What do you do? (choose one)
a. Have sex where ever we land first, who needs a bed?
b. Have sex on a single twin mattress
c. Have sex on an air mattress
d. Or? (tell us your solution)
With three twins in the room, ignore the air mattress, I'm going to be the only one that pops... Plus, you can pull the three mattresses to the floor and invite some more!!

2. What is the oddest thing you have in your bedroom that someone would be surprised to find. Why is it there?
For a long time I had a replica of a Star Wars Tie Fighter that belonged to a friend who claimed to have slept with Harrison Ford (but she was, as we all know, crazy). Right now I have a dart board, unused workout equipment, and logs of PTA files. Boring, I know.

3. What are your favorite sheets?
a. Flannel
b. Cotton
c. T-shirt cotton (jersey)
d. Satin
I hate Satin, you can't get any traction and your knees slip and you land on her and then she can't breathe and she pushes you off and you slip and slide and land on the floor hitting your head on the end table. The ER nurse was cute though.

I'm all for crisp cotton, it absorbs well, washes easily, and doesn't cost a fortune. If they are on a hotel bed, all the better.

4. Do you sleep with sheets tucked in or out? Why?

Untucked the minute I get in. I'm not crazy, so why sleep in a straight-jacket? My wife's side of the bed, however, is always tucked in. Otherwise, she'd escape. :-)

5. What is your usual bedtime? Why?
a. 8-10 pm
b. 10-12 midnight
c. 12-24
d. Whenever my eyes won’t stay open any longer.

Way, way, way too late. In bed by midnight, up at 5:00a, I'm always just a touch sleepy and don't let me sit still on the couch too long, but if you do, at least cover me with a blanket.

5. Do you sleep with closet door(s) shut or open? Bedroom door shut or open? Any particular reason why?

Door is only locked during sex, luckily the kids haven't made the correlation yet. It's always open so the kids can come in if they need a little hug in the middle of the night. They leave us alone most nights, but I frequently wake up with a little one next to me.

6. Have you ever broken a bed or other furniture during sex?

My friend's bed has a little crack in it, but we never told, and they never complained.....

7. What’s your favorite type of bed for sex?

Hotel beds and beds owned by anyone but mine..... I like mine too. But it's fun there as well.

8. What do you sleep in?
a. Lingerie
b. Underwear
c. Day clothes
d. T-shirt
e. Nothing

With 3 kids wandering around (E) is not an option, it's frequently too cold for (A), and just a t-shirt is just as risky as nothing....We sleep in PJs to keep warm and avoid the discomfort of being splayed out snoring with our junk hanging out.

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!