Some people have husbands that aren't interested, others have spouses that are cheating, or they are cheating themselves, some want spankings while others want intimacy. Some want bondage and leather, while others want variety and group involvement. The disjointed relationships make for interesting reading but they all point to our inability to honestly deal with the topic. How nice it would be to bring up sexuality as we drive down the road or go shopping or chat over the phone during work.
"Honey, I enjoyed the sex last night, but I didn't cum and I want to take more time for myself tonight. Maybe we could fuck after dropping the girls off at the church dance."
"Dear, how about we talk to the Andersons and see if they'd like to have sex with us next weekend. I know you enjoy working with her in the PTA."
"Janice, I've noticed you looking bored during sex, how about some new toys or some pain play, and oh, yes, your Mom called and she's coming over for dinner on Sunday."
Instead we get so uptight, we deny that it's important, we pull back and censor ourselves again and again. One of the reasons yesterday was so good for me was that I held my ground and asked for outdoor sex. most of the time we hide our needs, we close our mouths and we put up with less than we want.
I want to be able to talk about sex with my friends from church without being labeled a pervert. I want to understand the challenges that Mike and Daryl and Tony are facing withing them thinking I want to fuck them or their wives (even though Mike's wife is on the list). I want parents and teachers and doctors to be able to say what needs to be said.
My wife and I struggle with this like most couples, but we are getting better. I want her to express her desire more freely, and I want to be able to ask for things without being judged. I don't expect her to agree to every request, but the conversation itself shouldn't be taboo.
"Dear, a few years ago we had anal and you came really hard and I loved the experience, can we try it again?" Why is the question itself off-limits?
"You know I like it when you play with my nipples, I want you to be rougher with me, don't be afraid, I'll tell you if it's too much."
"Yes, I want to tie you to the headboard, the thought arouses me a great deal."
We need to be able to talk!!
This was all sparked by a great article that I've linked to below. I think you'll enjoy it.
http://thechart.blogs.cnn.com/2012/01/27/why-i-orgasmed-in-an-mri-scanner/?hpt=hp_c2
How can the study of human sexuality be considered useless? This is something that is prevalent in each and every one of our lives. When we’re not having sex, we’re talking about it. When we’re not talking about it, we’re thinking about it. And when we’re not thinking about it, we worry that something is wrong with us.
Sex is a primary source of human motivation and can change the way we act and the way we feel in quite dramatic ways. And this isn’t something that occurs solely in the privacy of our bedrooms: You see sex at play in advertising and marketing, in problems in the work place, in self-esteem and identity, in pleasure and reward, and also in the spread of sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies.
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