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TMI - Holiday Sex

Holiday sex

I am torn today, between writing for TMI and for Kates blog roll, so I am going to cheat and combine them into one post. I hope you find it entertaining from both sides.

‘Tis the Season

1. During the December holiday season, Do you....

a. Go away to join other family?
     This only happens every other year because my family live so far away. I have to admit that I don’t miss them as much as I should. I like being around my family but, like most, they get annoying long before it is time for me to leave. This year I am staying home which is fine.

b. Have holiday fun with immediate family?
     How immediate? I have a great deal of fun with my wife and kids but if you throw in an egotistical brother-in-law and his wife, a second brother-in-law going through a nasty divorce, a crazy sister-in-law who is both an egomaniac and hypochondriac who is married to a depressive recluse, it makes for an interesting (and not the good kind) of afternoons. I hideout in the backyard playing with the kids who, while on their way to a lifelong relationship with a therapist, aren’t too crazy yet.
c. Get to be alone with a lover?
This would be ideal, however, it would make my wife very mad.
d. Enjoy the peace and quiet and down-time of being with yourself?
     Alone on Christmas? That does not sound like fun to me.
2. What is your favorite holiday tradition or thing that you like to do every holiday season?
     My favorite holiday tradition that is no longer in use was drawing for names to make handmade gifts. I grew up in a big family so it was impractical to buy gifts for everyone. With tight budgets, we all ended up exchanging cans of Planters peanuts while spending more money in wrapping paper try to disguise the gift than for the gift itself. We started drawing names when I was young so I only had to buy one gift per year.

My mom thought that was kind of heartless so she instituted a second drawing where we had to make something by hand. When you are younger that meant a simple cross-stitch pattern in a frame, a poorly carved set of napkin rings, or something simple from my dad’s wood shop.  They were simple yet heartfelt because you spent several hours building them. I miss having the time to do this and I miss teaching my kids how to make badly shaped napkin rings.

3. You are walking down the street and a sexy person is standing with a sign that says “Kiss Me” and mistletoe hanging above their head.

1. Would you kiss that person? YES or NO
It depends on whether they had showered that day or not.

2. Why or why not?
There are a lot of people in Los Angeles with signs that are very close to that and I don’t recommend kissing any of them. If they were sexy enough, and looked like they were well put together, I would love to give them a kiss on the cheek and drop a dollar in their collection bucket. If the Salvation Army tried this method they might make a lot more money.

4. Santa made up his list and he has checked it twice. Turns out you are on the “naughty” list. What is the naughty thing you did that put you on that list?
Writing this blog would probably get me on the list. The fact that most of my stories are true would definitely put me on the list. If we stick to just the last month, we can make a list of our own.
Skype sex.
Phone sex.
Naughty chat.
Lots of Tumblrporn.
Enticing my friends to do bad bad things.
Thinking about doing bad bad things with people I should not be thinking about at all (she turns 18 in two months).
Agreeing, if only in theory, to meet a friend and her lover when we can arrange a mutually out-of-state encounter.
And, writing posts like this while I am at work “at lunch.”
5. For being naughty you have been locked in a room where you will be forced to learn about holiday cheer. You will have to watch 24 hours of a holiday movie, which movie would you choose to watch? (pick just one)
a. A Christmas Story -- Cute, but overrated
b. It’s a Wonderful Life
 --  a solid second-place, but in the end, it hits too close to home.  
c. White Christmas - except for a couple of good production numbers, and otherwise forgettable movie.
d. A Christmas Carol (original 1938version or the 1992 Muppet version) -
Can I put both versions on a loop? I love the simple morbidity of the early version, but it is hard to resist Kermit the frog as Bob Cratchet.

: The holidays can be a hectic time of year, so much so that romance might take a back seat to festivities and such. Give us YOUR sexy tip for keeping away the “chill” and “heating up” the holiday season.

Okay, this is Kate's section. Kate asked us to write a piece about holiday sex. I will admit that the holidays have been good to me, especially before the kids were born.  But let’s back up to the days before wedding bells, back to when a stolen kiss was still a thrill.

All through high school my house was the party house. No, my parents didn’t have an open liquor cabinet, but we had a pool table, a huge basement, and most importantly, a fireplace.

Lori was a beautiful redhead on the drill team. My friend Doug and I, hosted our group’s annual Christmas party at my house. Doug was dating Melanie, a girl three years his senior which was a big deal for high school. Lori was totally out of my league but for some reason agreed to go out with me. Maybe it was her Christmas charity gift. If memory serves, and our dinner followed a standard plan, the guys did all the cooking and we kept it delicious and simple. I made a lot of soups, salads, and appetizers back then. After the innocent games of high school were played, the movie was popped into the VCR as we all sat in front of the fire cuddled in blankets to watch a movie.

I remember distinctly that I had the expectation that she would sit next to each other and maybe I would hold her hand. Instead, she turned me sideways, made me put my leg up on the couch behind her, and she sat between my legs with her back on my chest. Can you remember that moment when you discovered how wonderful it was to hold another person in your arms? Can you remember the heart pounding excitement of wrapping your arms around somebody you’ve had a crush on since freshman year?

She was high school drill team skinny with round, small breasts and hips that smuggled back into mine. I had nowhere else to put my arms except around her and for that moment they felt as if they fit perfectly. She covered us with a blanket and leaned her head back against my shoulder and I inhaled her fragrance without saying a word. As the movie progressed, and I can’t remember what we watched, my hands begin to roam and she did not protest.

In our youth, guys think we are so subtle, do we really think she doesn’t know what is happening? How did we ever imagine that we were being sneaky as our thumb began to caress the bottom of her breast, testing her reaction, wondering if she would say yes or no? I remember feeling her curves under my hand, barely breathing, and then, getting bolder, slipping a finger between the buttons of her blouse to feel the silk of her bra and the miraculous smoothness of her skin.

My hands simply touched and my heart stopped. The fact that she let me go that far, she was on drill team for goodness sake, the cream of the crop, the alpha girls, the most beautiful … And I was touching her breast. I do not remember what my other hand was trying to do, I doubt I was gutsy enough for to slide gently over her waist across her denim and between her legs, I might have tried to caress your beautiful hips and perhaps touch her ass but I doubt it.

As my finger gingerly tried to sneak it underneath the layer of silk she shifted positions subtly (girls can be subtle where guys are not) put her hand on top of mind and extracted it but, as a true Christmas miracle, she held it, turned her head, and kissed me on the cheek.

Yes, Christmas has always been special to me. I am sure I have gone over the word limit.  There were many Christmases spent naked on a blanket underneath a Christmas tree giving each other the best presents of all (that would be power tools for me and scrapbook materials for her, in case you were wondering), but those stories will have to wait for another day.

Merry Christmas you perverts.
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!

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