A quiet week

  

My friends are all on vacation, not all of them, but several.  I’m on vacation too.  One friend who’s not on vacation is crazy busy at work and so never writes to me except to apologize for not writing.  Another is at home, but so is her boyfriend, so writing time and privacy is tight.  One is in the mountains, one is in the countryside, one is tucked away in a hotel room getting beaten silly by her lover.  I don’t have a big circle of close friends, just a handful that keep me sane and centered, aroused and interested.

I miss them when I’m gone, when they are gone.  While I’ve been out of work I’ve needed encouragement, distraction, support, and guidance.  I should have more friends in person.  I don’t pursue friends very well; I don’t care enough to make the connections to be “friends.”  It’s just not worth the bother.  My on-line friendships that have lasted have a mix of friendship, sexuality, flirting, mutual need, and good technology.  I appreciate all aspects of these relationships.  They are important to me.

A side note.  When I was in college I had my first serious adult girlfriend.  It was strange though, she was coming out of a bad family situation, we had different views religiously, she challenged my notion of morals, we fell in love while never admitting it, and she was the first girl I ever held naked in my arms.  It ook us a while to admit it, but I remember holding her in bed one night. We were in her apartment, on her bed, and she asked me how it felt to be in a relationship.  “A relationship?”  At the time it seemed so serous.  But I like being in relationships now, I like having those connections that go beyond an eyebrow raise, a handshake, a high five, or even a wry smile and a knowing look. I like being connected to the women in my life.

Each one makes a difference, plays a different role, and helps me in a different way.  I love them all.  When I’m away like this, though temporary, it highlights how my life is enriched by the people around me.  That’s the point, I guess, of much of life, is to connect to people, to build relationships.

As I try to start a small business, everyone talks about building relationships.  But how many small business men want to talk dirty to me on the phone and play on Skype?  Without that ice breaker how am I to get things going?

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Is happiness bad for blogging?

“How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on
treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.”

                                                         Oscar Wilde

"Nobody buys the newspaper for good news." 
                                                           Plato (or my dad, I can't remember)

I've taken almost 2 months off from work.  It's been wonderful.  I am sleeping a little more, eating better, losing a little weight, I've had sex more than expected, and I'm not blogging worth crap. 

I could write abot politics, but there are others more eloquent and passionate than I am.  I am a frustrated Republican, a closet Libertarian, a fledgling democrat, though at my core I can't accept their whole agenda.  So my political ramblings would be diffuse and dismal.  I could complain about how Romney, clearly the best businessman in the group, is blowing his chances by being just a bit clueless.  Gingritch is interesting as the angry uncle at the family christmas party, but not the guy you want talking to the russians, or, more importantly, the Iranians.  Santorum?  Well, he just comes across as an over zealous sunday school teacher who hasn't gone sweater shopping since the early 70's.  Ron Paul is a brilliant thinker, practical, anti-war, pro-liberty, a real thinking and the only independant candidate in the race, and he doesn't have a chance in hell.  Such is american politics.

In my happy (?) state I could write more about religion but that's just as polarizing as politics and i'm not ready to admit all my failings as they stand up against my background of faith.  i've talked about it enough to give the impression that I used to be a lot more devout than I am not, but not ready to make a public break with the community.  it would be devestating to my wife, my marriage, and my dad, though my brothers and sisters wouldn't care nearly as much as they would have a few years ago.  I think live makes us more forgiving as it goes on.  We see our own foilables in the mirror more clearly and judge others less harshly.  Maybe it's just self justification, butas I see others struggle, I see myelf in them and I forgive and forget more deeply and with less drama. 

i could write about IT, government compliance, and security issues, but OH MY HELL!!!  Just shoot me if I start doing that, at least on this blog. 

I could write about sex, after all, I'm having a bit of an uptick in that department.  But my love life is "nice."  There are no bruises, few toys, no whips, no +1s, no video, stills, or drawings.  We try to get to be early, we snuggle kiss, copulate, laugh a little, and fall quickly asleep, it's nice, but hardly blog-worthy.  Granted, the trampoline story was fun. 

So what do I work on/  what do I write about?  I'm not sure.  Tomorros I'll have a FFF piece, i like the challenge of short fiction though I whould be working on my Christmas story, my dragon epic, or my musical, but when there is IM and skype and blogging and blogs, those tend to fall by the wayside. 

So we'll see.  Stick with me, i can't be happy for long, after all, i'm looking for a job and that means happiness can't last forever. 

Have a wonderful Thursday, I'm going to.

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