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TMI - Take it off, take it all off....

Thank you to Andee for submitting this week’s TMI Tuesday questions.

Strip for me, I’ll strip for you


1. Have you ever danced naked in front of anyone? What prompted the experience?
            For real or as a joke?  I’ve done the corny strip tease a dozen times, mostly to annoy the heck out of my wife, but I’ve never done it to turn someone on.  That’s just a bad idea from the start.  I’m in the top 5% of American men when it comes to fitness.  I can run a 7:00 mile, I completed a 5K, 10K, and ½ marathon this year.  I regularly run 8+ miles in the morning, but I still don’t look good enough to do a strip tease.  Seriously, don’t ask.

2. Have you been to a strip club? Was it what you expected?
Hell Yes! 
It was better than I ever imagined.
I went to my first strip club as part of my brother-in-law’s bachelor party.  He wasn’t allowed to go to the club because his whore wife (not an insult, just a fact) did make up for strippers and knew what was going on behind the scenes.  For me it was like a kid in the candy story.  Do you know that for only $20 a beautiful woman will strip naked and rub herself up against you?  For three songs?  HOLY FUCK!!!
I didn’t stop going for 5 years.  I might have gone to 5 clubs for a total of 20 times, maybe $100 a pop, but worth every penny. 

3. Have you ever been to an “amateur night” at a strip club?
Nope.  Some jobs should be left to the professionals. 
Doctor, Lawyer, Tightrope walker, stripper. 

4. Do you think strip clubs are exploitative or are they misunderstood as simple adult entertainment venues?
I have sat and talked with a lot of the women who danced for me, some after work, and I’ve met some outside the club.  I’ve asked them questions that made them think, and I’ve gotten real answers, I think.  Their trust in my comes from being an “innocent among wolves” as one woman said, and not being drunk.  Ever.  Most of the women had a plan, a long play strategy to get out of the business, some didn’t.  Some were addicted, most, MOST, were not.  I’ve heard lots of their stories, yelled in my ear over bad music and too much smoke, but I think most were there by choice, with a clear head about them.  With some, I wanted to call their mothers and have them picked up by 11:00.

5. Would you ever consider stripping to pay for college or other expenses?
HA HA HA HA HA HA… see answer to #1. 
I would starve to death as a stripper. 

6. Have you ever given your partner a private dance?
Isn’t this the same as #1? 

7. Would you ever perform a lap dance for a complete stranger?
Maybe these questions were meant for the women?
I guess I’d do it, maybe her Seeing Eye Dog would enjoy it if I brought treats.

8. Showgirls, Strip Tease, Magic Mike …
What is the sexy Hollywood stripper scene you have ever YouTubed?

Showgirls was awful.
Strip Tease had more plastic than a Tupperware party
Jamie Lee Curtis had the 2nd best strip tease scene ever.

Hands Down, Best Ever, The ever beautiful, Natalie Portman

Bonus: Do you have a stripper fantasy, that given the chance of not being found out, you would turn into a reality?

I want to go back and see Dakota again.  She danced for me in Las Vegas and I was smitten. I know that they are paid to be nice, to get you to give them money, and fall in love with you.  And I know, against all emotion, that she does not remember me, didn’t remember me the next morning even.  But if I could go back, to find her, to take her away, to devour her flesh and save her heart, she would be the one.
Or that really hot blonde in Canada.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
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