Songwriting continues

I've got two so far. I was working on the second one last night before the cold meds really took effect, and managed to revise it a bit. I'm still not any good at rhyming, but I don't think I care... I'll try to figure out some music for this second one. The first one only has a melody, nothing else, and I've got to flesh that out, too. There is so much work involved! Now that our piano is tuned, I can use it to help me decide how the songs should go.

I had a dream that told me if I wanted to write songs, I had to do it while sitting at the piano. Sometimes my brain is very straightforward about stuff. Like when I was little and sucked my thumb. I used to carry around a clean cloth diaper and tickle my nose with it while I sucked my thumb, and that was a lovely combination. My mom wanted me to stop, so she asked me how she could get me to do that, and I told her to take away my diaper. If she did that, I would stop. So she did, I did, and that was it, no fussing or anything. Maybe my brain's got the right idea about songwriting now.

It's hard for me to write songs about happy stuff. Usually I get them coming to me when I'm in the grip of huge emotional waves, and those tend to be negative, so I get writings full of blazing anger and despairing darkness. Maybe if I tried writing while hypomanic I'd end up with more positive stuff? I don't know. Anyway, it's not like anything really tangible has come of this yet. I just thought I'd let y'all know that I'm working on it, and my musical project has not been forgotten.

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Melancholia in the sunshine (fixed by Gaga)

I'm feeling pretty down and tired today. I'm sad about old things, from years ago. And it's irritatingly bright outside. This is the month and a half or so out of the year that we have blazing sunshine inflicted on us. It usually has the opposite effect on me as with most people. I always feel exposed and vaguely frightened with that cloudless blue up above, and the sun glaring down. No clouds to protect us or cover up the vast expanse of sky. It's better at night, when you see all the stars in the sky and the sun isn't hurting your eyes any longer.

I think after work I'll open up the house to get some air and then go hide in my darkened bedroom again like I did last night. Much more comforting than being out under the pounding sun. It's supposed to get up into the 80s this weekend here, and while that isn't very hot for those of you poor souls living in places with temperatures like 114F, it is very hot for us here. People here start dying when we get into the 90s. The vast majority of us don't have air conditioning and aren't acclimated to heat, so old people and babies succumb when it gets too hot. Much like Europe, if I remember correctly.

I can't wait for fall.

Update: Gaga made me feel better. It's hard to feel down when you have this to laugh at:

Gaga: The Anti-Depression Med

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