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Showing posts with label sports. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sports. Show all posts

Opportunity Lost or Bullet Dodged?

The finals are upon us.  The entire district was converging on the local college and my high school was acting as host, which means we needed volunteers.  I had the time and liked watching the runners, so I put my name on the list and said I could help.

What?  The shot put?

I told them that I had never helped with Shot.  I had done high jump, hurdles, and long jump, but never the shot, but they needed people so they handed me the clip board, a tape measure, and deemed me a "Meet Official", complete with complimentary vest that I had to return at the end of the day.

I crossed the field, walked up the stairs, and surveyed the ring.  The longest throws today would be under 40', these were the freshmen, sophomores, and a few lagging juniors.  The varsity kids would come tomorrow, so at least I wasn't jeopardizing anyone's chance to get a college scholarship.

"You look lost."  she said as she walked up and extended her hand in greeting.  She was wearing a sweatshirt that matched mine and I vaguely, recognized her as a team parent from other meets.

"Hello," I replied, "My name is Campbell and I have NO idea what I'm doing."

Her hands were cold as she took mine in hers for a long shake that lingered in a comfortable way, "I'm BC," she said, "and I do know what I'm doing."

Her daughter was a freshman, a cute little thing that appeared out of place with the other girls who, not to be mean, looked a lot more suited for throwing an 8 pound shot put.  Lainy couldn't have weighed more than my left leg, her mom could have been the right.

Over the next 4 hours she taught me the ins and outs of running a shot put ring.  Protocols for entering and leaving the area, rules on foot placement, and the fine art of corralling over 60 antsy throwers through 8 "flights", three finals, and making sure that all of our measurements were right.

I haven't had that much fun feeling lost in a long time.  She was funny and cute, with multi-colored hair and a quick smile, a warm touch, and almost no sense of personal space.  I ran my fingers through her hair as we talked about stylists, she grabbed me by the arm to get me out of the way of an errant throw but didn't let go until it became obvious she was just holding on.  We both wore wedding rings but it felt like a first date where we were swapping life stories (birth, HS, college, kids, job) and complaints about our kids growing up too fast.

The time was coming where I had to go for another school event and I kept thinking how I could get her e-mail or phone number without it feeling like the beginning of something.  My mind failed me and I found no excuse.  I handed her the clip board in mock seriousness and told her that I had to go.  She gave me the long hug, I inhaled deeply, and left without any way to get in touch again, but a promise to say hello at the team banquet that will soon follow.

My head was spinning a bit as I analyzed the day.  Was she flirting, was I being too optimistic, would she, did she, would I, should I?

I got home and gave the wife and kids the recap as we waited for the awards ceremony to start at the school.

"Wait!" my wife exclaimed with the pieces fell in to place.  "Are you talking about Betsy Donheim?  The one with the freshman daughter?"

"Yes" I said, now wondering just what I had said on the green grass at the edge of the shot put area.

"Oh," she said, "I loved Betsy, she's a PTA mom and we talk all the time."  My heart started racing as my wife went on, "We should do dinner with her and Pete."

Maybe I didn't need to get a number after all.

"Yes we should," I said with a strangely bright smile, "Yes we should."

March Madness!!!

OK, the brackets are set and the games are underway, but who gives a crap about basketball?

Here is the real bracket, Sex v Chocolate.  You have to go each day to vote (sneaky traffic drivers), but is sounds like fun.  I have "Hangnail Fingerbanging" making it to the Sweet 16.

Here's my analysis, open or print out the bracket and follow along



Oral
The #1 seed for obvious reasons, but a lot of it will depend on the depth of commitment and the voting power of the female bloc.  Guys may surprise us with a split vote with one of several strong contenders
Hangnail Fingerbang
A personal favorite, but doomed to fall before the big players
Anal
A rising star in the league this year.  Getting lots of media hype, but this one may just be a passing fad, the hard-core fans just haven’t broadened their base of support.
Handjob on the bus
A great entry, a fantastic story, but it’s hard to call it a favorite when it only happened once in college, “on the way to band camp.”  Yea, we get it, we say the movie.  (And, technically, the picture doesn’t count, it was the front of the bus)
Cowgirl
An over-rated contender in my mind, but there may be a lot of voters out there who don’t want to see their partner’s face anymore.
69
Seeded too low for my tastes, but then again, I love the taste.
Missionary
A perennial favorite, a strong entry for steady play and a good fall-back, but will it catch the attention of the “favorite” designation? 
Beach
Great press, fantastic team picture, but they are a true one-and-done contender.  Have you ever gotten sand out of that last little spot?  Me neither.
Shower
Love it, reduces the clean-up issue, but with the injury level high and the danger of too much echo, I don’t see Shower getting out of the first round
Titty fuck
It all depends on who is playing.
Team A    or Team DD
Spoon
A sleeper, may surprise us, but aficionados will probably be sleeping too much to vote.
Rim-job
Another niche player, better than spooning by a mile, but a smaller fan base.  Surprisingly good team photo
BDSM/Kink
In today’s league, a stronger player than expected.  Could go deep, very deep, so deep it hurts, BITCH!  Ha, Take that you slave/slut/whore!!  And put on this donkey mask while you are at it!!!    J
In public
This one will win big if George Michael is is still voting.
Doggy Style
A real come from behind possibility. 
Facials
Wonderful, glorious, but does anyone really “enjoy” getting them?  If you do, let me know….

Why I Love Hockey

I don't really, but it bugs my Canadian friends to say, that THIS is why I would like hockey if I did, which I don't.

Have a great Sunday!

TMI - Lets get ready for some Football!

Super Bowl Sunday Celebration

(Sorry for posting late)
Even if their team is not going to the Super Bowl, millions of people love an excuse to party. So party we will. Tell us what your ideal Super Bowl Celebration (or any sports party) looks like by answering:
1. What’s your favorite _____ that you’ll serve at the party (name one item for each):
a. choice of beer/wine/distilled spirit/ - I'm not a drinker, so my parties are "dry", but I love getting a wide variety of "old fashioned" soft drinks from this little specialty shop at the mall.  Soda's in real glass bottles with flavors that have been out of circulation for years.  
d. choice of mixed drink - I like cranberry and OJ mixed, does that count?
e. choice of chip - With no booze, the food has to be good.  Home made potato chips might be on the menu, or if not that, several bags of chips from Chipotle or the Blue Iguana, hot out of the frier with their special guacamole and salsas.
f. choice of dip - mango salsa, fresh tomato, avacado, creamy cilantro, a spicy honey mustard, it's all there.
g. choice of take-out food (pizza, burgers, Chinese food, wings, etc) - Not in my house.
h. choice of homemade food - crock-pot Swedish meatballs with grape jelly, artichoke dip (sister), deviled eggs (Nan), and a great batch of brownies from my brother.
i. choice of salty food - The Chipotle chips are really hard to beat.
j. choice of sweet food - my brothers brownies, no thing illegal about them, but with a two layer mint topping to die for.
2. What will you wear at the party? - I have got to go shopping....   I need a pair of jeans with no paint, some NY Giants boxers, maybe a Patriot's hat, but the best place to get them is the swap meet in Downtown LA where NOTHING is official and the names of the teams, or the colors are always wrong.  Nothing beats a NY Giants ha in Red and Gold. 
3. You will be having your very own half time show at the football party. What is that half-time show? Briefly describe. - Yea, we'll be having a big old orgy during lunch.  We've got the tall hot chich with the bad foot, a skanky sister in law and her skank daughter for dancing, a 1/2 drunk brother-in-law with ED, and a mother in law with a bad hip.  It's going to be hot, but we have to be careful or the paramedics ruin things...
4. What team do you wish was playing in the Super Bowl? - The Seattle Seahawks and the New Orleans's Saints.
5. The NY Giants and New England Patriots are in Super Bowl 2012, who do you want to win?  (ummm…yeah, I had to google that info…LOL)  I could vote for the Patriots because of Tom Brady's wife (2) (3), but I have to go with the Giants, it's so nice to see a special-needs quarterback doing so well at the professional level. 
Bonus: Have you ever made a football (or Super Bowl) bet that involved sex? Tell us about your own Super Bowl of Sex.

Well, I've had season-ending sex where it was our last game together, I've had celebratory sex, (strangely enough we had celebration sex when we found out that we were pregnant for the first time), but I guess if you combine Sunday (a weekend away), lot of penalties (I say stupid stuff), a 1/2 time show (lunch with other guests at the B&B) , and a 1st and 2nd half, then it would be our trip to wine country a few years ago.  My sister got away for a weekend from her job and I had her come up to surprise my wife with a weekend away from the kids (2 at the time).  I had packed most of her stuff, so when sis showed up we were 90% ready to go.  We only drove for a couple of hours to where I had reservations at a great little B&B.  Saturday was spent in Wine Country, roaming the beautiful countryside and taking photographs at every turn.  The other B&B guests were terrific and our bed was amazing.  After a busy day Saturday, we ate a lite breakfast downstairs and then made love long and slow on top of this amazing down comforter. We watched some TV, and then I went down on her while she watched and, to her surprise, she came again.  We snuggled and napped and slept and woke up for lunch. It was kind of obvious we hadn't left the building, and the owner's wife gave my wife "that look" which made her blush.  We heard a run down of the other guest's day and had to admit we hadn't gotten out yet.  We went back upstairs and I took her by the hand and put the comforter on the floor and took her doggy style and she came again.  It was wonderful.  Finally she pulled me up on the bed and got on top.  With her naked body above me and her vibe buzzing contentedly between us we came together. 4 for her, 2 for me, and about 6 hours in bed.  That is a Super Sunday.
Bonus Bonus: Will you watch the Super Bowl? Do you even care about the Super Bowl? American football at all? What’s your can’t live without sport?

I think we are going to my mother-in-law's house, but we should go to my wife's brother's house.  He has a new 72" big screen in his new house and it's gorgeous.  He should host everything until the end of time. If we go, I'll watch, if we stay at home, the game will be on for a while and then we will 'just check' what is on Disney channel and that will be the end of it.  I'll keep track via SI.com, but I haven't watched a full game start-to-finish in years.  No big deal.  Maybe we'll send the kids away and have another Super Sunday of our own.  (just kidding, that will never happen)


The sport I can't live without.....?  None really.  I run, swim and train, but I'm too busy to sit and watch anything.  I will say that I'm thrilled that the LA Clippers are doing better, we need to take those Punk Lakers down a notch or two. 
Thanks to Virtual Sin for this week’s TMI Tuesday theme and help with the questions.
————-
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblogfrom your website!

Sexy Cool Picture

Taken from Sports Illustrated's "Pictures of the Year" collection.  Her eyes, the perfect legs, the blue shorts with that sexy little gap, and a belly ring.

Crazy Sexy.

Rugby Rules

I love sports, but learning the proper rules is critical.



Since I'm posting about rugby, I'll tell my one good rugby story.

When I was in college I had a chance to go back East and work for the government as an intern. Not to be confused with Monica Lewinsky, I am the intern that did NOT give the head to the President of the United States, leaving a stain on her dress as well as Bill Clinton's legacy.

Instead, I played rugby. Sitting in the hot tub on night I started talking to some guys who played with an alumni team from a local college. Since none of them were actually alumni of said college, when I expressed and interest in playing they whole heartedly invited me to join the team.

I was, at the time, 23 years old, 195 pounds, and fit, but not fast, however, when compared to 30 year old guys how were well past their prime, I was the new, young, and fast kid. But I was also the guy who had never played rugby before. They taught me the rules but that is not the point of the story.

This is....

As a non-drinker, even in college, I was not only the designated driver, but I was in charge of keeping a certain few team mates from going home with drunk and ugly women. It was more difficult than you might imagine. Over the course of the season I confiscated keys, called cabs, sent men to the restroom and told the girls that he had gone home or met someone else. I became quite adept at limiting the damage of beer goggles and bad decisions. I failed at times, but I did my best.

The best strategy was to go after pretty sober women, which, as you know, is much more difficult and harder to defend against from my perspective.

So after one game, Mitch is no where to be found. Neither is the hottie brunette that was cheering from the other team. It was tradition in this league that both teams went out for drinks together after the game. Since it was just a bunch of old boys playing for fun, why not party after?

Mitch never shows up so we leave, with me behind the wheel of course. We get back to the hotel, 5 drunk rugby players and me. I get to the room, unlock the door, we all pile in, and there is Mitch with the hottie, naked and in bed.

I think I sprung a boner at once, but my inebriated friends just laughed at their team captian and pulled the covers off the bed in 2 seconds flat. Mitch was yelling, she was screaming, I was staring, and it was the best thing ever.

She was, in fact, a hottie in every sense of the words and it was one of the first times I had seen a stranger totally naked in real life (AOL had been invented and, though downloads took 2 hours, pictures were available).

After 20-30 seconds of watching them squirm and try to hide, someone threw them a blanket and we all stomped out. Well, everyone but me. Mitch had to snap his fingers or something to get me out of my trance. The last thing I remember was her smiling at me as I left.

Boy, do I love rugby.

FFF - Are you ready for some football!!!






50-90
driving deep




GO! GO! GO!

Her lover’s thrusting increased in power as the fullback crossed the 40, 30, 20 yard line.  She stared at the Star Wars comforter and enjoyed the building sensation, so close, so very close.

Unseen by the celebrating runner, the corner-back came from behind and leveled the runner with a crushing tackle.  

NOOOOOOO!  She felt him pull back, ranting at the screen, leaving her empty.

The announcer’s voice cut through, “The Ravens have been driving deep but have yet to score.  How disappointing.”

“You’re telling me…” she added.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Are you in?
I’m trying, fuck, give me a break
What’s wrong?
It’s not working, you’re too tall
What?
Hell, I don’t know, I’m sinking in to the bed.  Get lower.
I can’t, I have to keep my foot up like this.
Why?
The book says, “The maid is brought to climax by her stalwart knight, driving deep with passion.
What?
Look, it’s right here, “The Kneeling Maid”
Can’t we just fuck?
No, I want to do it right, and this picture is so pretty.
I hate that fucking book.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I try not to pick my story lines the first time I see the weekly FFF picture, I usually let it settle, let thoughts come and go, and then, usually in a rush Thursday afternoon, start writing.  This week was the exception.  Right off the bat I thought football, American football.  I imagined a young guy, probably still in college, still more concerned about the score, than scoring, without the least bit of consideration for her.  Typical college kid. 

But then I thought again and say a young couple, not too experienced, him hard and young and eager and ready, her, still caught up in romance novels and bodice ripper fantasies where sex is done "right" and where it's all pretty and maids and knights "make love" and "fucking" is for the course underclass. 

This picture also reminded me of the thought that "Good porn makes for bad sex."  Maybe he saw something he liked and was recreating it, or she thought he'd like it so she took the position of his latest on-line obsession.  I don't know, but it seems like they are uncomfortable, contrived, not enjoying the sex but trying to make a show of it.  That never turns out well.

As usual, I'd like to thank the Academy for this award.... oops, wrong notes...

Thanks to
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