Oh well, it's my wife's birthday and that means a good dinner and better sex, I hope, so I'll make this short. Have a WONDERFUL evening and we'll see you all again tomorrow.
XOXO
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
What day is it?
Oh well, it's my wife's birthday and that means a good dinner and better sex, I hope, so I'll make this short. Have a WONDERFUL evening and we'll see you all again tomorrow.
XOXO
FFF-Fixed
Word Limit = 250
Keyword = a synonym for "fixed" but not "fixed" itself
Extra Credit = Include a link to your favorite TUMBLR (besides mine)
25 Bonus Words can be earned by having an orgasm within 60 min of writing your entry (be honest)
Keyword = a synonym for "fixed" but not "fixed" itself
Extra Credit = Include a link to your favorite TUMBLR (besides mine)
25 Bonus Words can be earned by having an orgasm within 60 min of writing your entry (be honest)
Enjoy
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He smiled as he locked the door behind him, tossing the keys in the air and deftly catching them behind his back. He could already feel the stress of the day being carried away on the breeze and sun of the warm February afternoon. The call came as he worked on the Anderson account, correcting mistakes his assistant made the night before.
“Go home,” Peterson has said, “We’ll pick it all up tomorrow.”
“No problem!” he said to himself as he loosened his tie. He considered calling home about the afternoon off, but decided that a surprise might be in order.
He stopped at the corner and picked up some Thai noodles for dinner. There would need to eat something after they were done and he felt his cock grow harder and press against his slacks as he paid the beautiful cashier $12 in exchange for the bag.
“Expecting something?” she asked, looked, and giggled. His mood was so bright that he grabbed his junk and blurted out, “I’m going home early to surprise my wife.”
“Lucky girl.” He heard her say as the bell on the door jangled his good-bye.
He paused to buy a paper, then unlocked the glass doors and bound up the stairs of the Victorian walk-up.
She was bare naked on the kitchen floor as he opened the door, a string of clothes guiding him to her.
Afterwards, he rolled off and said set a plate for her, “Your mom makes the best noodles ever.”
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“Maybe plumbing school was a good investment after all,” he thought as he looked down at the incredible blonde sucking his cock. The tile of the kitchen gave him chills, but when she looked up at him, her pink lips wrapped around his hard shaft, he didn’t mind. He wasn’t allowed to touch her, his hands were too greasy and she didn’t have time to shower before her husband came home, so he just laid back and enjoyed it.
“You saved my life,” she said, as he cleared the disposal clogged with yet another failed attempt at cooking dinner. “I can’t afford to pay you,” she said with a quiver, “I spent my money on the turkey I just ruined.”
He looked around the room, expecting a camera crew hop out at any moment, this was too much like Penthouse letters and he couldn’t believe it was happening.
She released his cock and crawled up, impaling herself, bouncing up and down. Still not allowed to touch, she got herself off with her fingers and then he exploded inside her as she begged.
He thought nothing of it for months, never mentioning it to his wife or business partner until the letter from the attorney arrived. He read the text of the paternity suit and laughed. He pulled out his medical file and put copies of the payment for his vasectomy in the return envelope.
“What’s so funny?” His wife asked.
“Just a letter from someone who couldn’t pay their bill.”
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I didn't get a chance to early my bonus words. I wrote this during my afternoon break at work and the office manager kept coming but to test the phones and the new keys that go along with the new locks installed over the weekend. With the door opening every 2 minutes, I didn't dare try to earn them. Not that she would mind, for an office manager she's pretty cool and kind of flirty, so maybe, well...
I rarely pick favorites, but the idea for the 2nd story was my first thought when I picked the word "Fixed." An on-line friend said she only flirted guys who had been snipped, so I gave her my doctor's name and offered so send the invoice. It all came together in my head as i wrote the first one.
The first one cracked me up. My dark side wanted him to walk in on her fucking someone else, but then I remembered I promised to be happier this week, so I decided to make her mom the cashier at the Thai food place on the corner. Given a few more words, maybe mom would have closed the shop early. LOL.
I liked them both, I hope you did too.
Now go tell your friends that it's time to get happy and write!!!
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OK, I found this and earned my bonus words, but since my two stories were already completed, I added one more, just 25 words.
I had a great time writing this week. As you leave your links above, please drop a comment in to comment box.
OK, I found this and earned my bonus words, but since my two stories were already completed, I added one more, just 25 words.
He came inside her as the tile cut her bare back, The door opened. “Dang, I’ve got to get that lock fixed.”
I had a great time writing this week. As you leave your links above, please drop a comment in to comment box.
FFF - Frantic - Jan 18
His mind scrambled to make sense of anything, he just needed one fact, something familiar, something that wasn't complete chaos. The last thing he was sure of was the sound of her husband’s voice booming through the bedroom door as she frantically pushed him toward the fire escape. She began throwing clothes out the window but they vanished as they crossed the plane between inside and outside. With a flash of released energy, they vanished and he was left naked on the cold metal stairs.
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| Frantic - 234 |
He was unsure of his direction, location, , or velocity, all he knew is that he had to pick one, change one, and increase the other. He ran straight toward the brick wall, determined to tunnel through it and he felt his skin, muscle, and bone rearrange themselves as he passed through the solid rock and into the arched pathway that created itself for his escape.
He wondered if he was dreaming but the pain in his feet and the sound of the pursuing car convinced him that the threat was real. His eyes searched for a black door, a hole in the tunnel wall and it pulled him like gravity towards it. He entered and it went dark as he felt his way around the boxlike enclosure. Trapped like a cat, he was unsure if he was dead or alive, he would find out when the door re-opened. (234)
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With my sincere apologies to Schrödinger,Heisenberg and Planck, I had to try the quantum theory approach. The only sexy thing about it was his starting location, but after that, it's just a bad episode of Jumper. :-)
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So, let's try one more time.
“Candice!” He yelled as he waited impatiently, “where’s my dinner?”
“Make it yourself!” She yelled from the living room, “I’m tired.”
“What am I supposed to eat,” he said, petulant, “I’m hungry.”
“If you’re hungry,” her voice changed tone,” I have something you can eat.”
He turned and looked at his young bride; she had beautiful eyes, deep blue and as stormy as the sea. They had a rocky relationship but the sex was good in the cooking was great, but both depended on the mood of the moment too much for his liking.
His tummy rumbled, “If I do you right will you make me dinner?”
“If you do me right, I’ll make you anything you want.” She peeled her green T-shirt off and dropped it to the floor, her black & pink panties were next and she took him by the hand.
She stripped him down quickly and rubbed his head and laughed, “I love how smooth you are.”
He slipped his hand between her legs and said the same thing.
Their coupling was frantic and fast and he came quickly, filling her, but leaving her hanging.
“All right then, he” he said as he pulled on his pants, “Make me dinner.”
Scowling, she followed him into the kitchen and opened a drawer, “How about Mac & Cheese?”
“Whatever.”
She grabbed for his cock and brandished the knife, “How about with sausage?
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Punch lines are difficult, but I hope this worked a little. I laughed when I wrote it.