Friday Morning

Good morning from the local (to someone, not local to me) coffee shop in wonderful Hollywood.  I'm not being  sarcastic, I love this part of LA.  I hit the road early to miss traffic and be to my doctor's appt. on time.  I settled in to the cozy seat in the corner so no one can see my screen and my headphones are on, but it's a quiet day around the web and all of my friends are at work.  Somewhere I wish i could be.

So let's do the general update thing......

1 - Job hunting sucks.  Sending your resume out via job sites is just about worthless..  I've put out probably 40 on-line applications and haven't heard a single thing.  Not one response besides the automated, "Thank you for applying!" e-mail.

2 - The jog hunt screws with your marriage.  I love being home, I love volunteering in my son's class and going to all my daughter's track meets and choir shows, but the roles are changing.  I've always done a lot of stuff around the house (O - that one is for you), but now I'm starting to have opinions on HOW to do things.  I used to just help, but now certain things are becoming mine and we use the bathroom cleaning schedule as a proxy fight over my job hunting priorities.

3 - Job hunting messes with your self image.  Being at the computer all day putting out job leads that never materialize screws with your head.  You start doubting every skill you  have, you wonder how you kept a job in the first place, you worry if anyone will ever hire you, that maybe your skills are out of date, and that maybe being the assistant night manager at the local Jack in the Box isn't such a bad idea, I mean, come on, the give you the bullet proof vest almost for free.

4 - All your free time vanishes.  With nothing to do, you end up doing nothing.  I've been home for 6 months and haven't cleaned the garage, built the entertainment center, put up a shelf, painted the girl's rooms, or banged my wife nearly enough.  Everything is about the hunt, so logic and scheduling goes out the window and you end up doing nothing.  That parts really sucks.  you have all this time and NOTHING happens.

5 - Moved to bottom

6 - Looking for work is like having a baby.  It takes a long time, it makes you feel awful, it makes you sick, and you and your spouse argue of stupid stuff.  For those of you who have kids, remember how things changed, or the new areas of conflict that appeared, when child-rearing came in to the picture.  The loving couple, who had all this fun time together, suddenly have to decide how to raise another human being.  Feeding, discipline, clothes, friends, germs, toys, TV, bedtimes, nursing, organic/store-bought suddenly are grounds of arguing.  It's the same thing in the job hunt.  Issues that were assumed, are now under discussion, the length of commute, hours, the size of the company, benefits, vacation pay, duties, a new tack or familiar ground, pay, etc, it's all up for discussion.  I've been working for 20 years as a married guy and it's just now that we have to discuss the fact that I don't want to apply for a job that is 30 miles away again.  I'm tired of it.

6a - Another thing, you really find out what your spouse thinks of you. That's not always pretty, but this post is already too long, more on that later.

7 - The sex doesn't get better.  yes, we've had a few daytime sessions, but the stress in the air kills the mood at an incredible deep level.  don't count on being home all day to make anything better.  It doesn't.

8 - You realize that things are harder than you ever dreamed.  I applied for a job that I am 100% qualified for, and when I looked it up again this morning, it said that there are 72 other applicants for the job.  33% have Masters degrees, and the average distance between applicant and job is 649 miles.  People are applying from all over the west and beyond. How do I float to top in that mess?

9 - You realize that people are well-intentioned, but usually worthless.  Friends, associates, recruiters are all "willing" to help, but ultimately get caught up in their own life and offer very little in terms of pushing you along even when jobs are out there.

10 - You realize things about yourself that are ultimately depressing.  I am lazy, unfocused, tired, not very enthusiastic about actually working, a bit of a slacker, behind on my reading and just tired.  Did I say that one already?  Oh, and did I add I have a serious self-pity issue?  if I wasn't so amazingly handsome I'd have nothing good to say at all.  LOL.....!

Life sucks.  Nothing new, but I need to change.

This is the depressing version. But let's list some happy things.


I've lost 25 pounds.  I went on a diet knowing that if I stayed at home and ate all day, I would explode.  
I got some medical procedures taken care of, Nothing serious, but things that required some down time.
I've been in my son's classroom as a volunteer
I've spent time at the park and gone on walks with my wife.
I've worked out as part of my rehab and de-stressed in many ways.
I've taken a lot of pictures and put them on my Instagram/Tumblr
I've had some time to talk to friends.
I do more around the house.
I got a phone call from my dad offering help with my mortgage if I needed it.  He's been helping my brother for years and I know his budget is tight.  I was able to say, truthfully, that we are OK money-wise, but it was a sweet offer.
My son told me that I wasn't allowed to go back to work because he wants me to stay home.  he pointed to my wife and said, "Can't you get a job?"
I've been the assistant coach on my son's baseball team, it's hilarious watching 7 year olds try to turn a double play.  Oh, wait, they cant' catch or throw, so it doesn't happen very often.  (ever)

OK OK OK....  this has gone on way too long.

I need a job.  I think I should go get one.