Why I will never read "50 Shades of Gray"

When I speak in the voice of a DOM, it is my voice, it is a reflection of my wants, needs, desires, and power.

I will not, can not, have another man's voice in my head as I give you instructions, as I lead you down the path you fear, but long to travel.

I am myself, I am not Christian Gray, and you are not Anastasia.

I will not speak as him, nor treat you as her.

When you hear my voice, or open my e-mail, or receive my text, it is me, and only me.
Take comfort, find security, in knowing that I have chosen you,
And you have chosen me,
We are not living out another's life.

I am myself.
I am your Dom.
You are mine,
You are special to me.
And will never be his.

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I know that makes me sound like a pretentious prick, so let's lighten the mood