I had an awesome dream this morning, you guys.

I love those dreams where you get some sort of physical skill that you don't actually have (yet, in this case, but I will) in real life, and everything seems so easy. I've been doing that Couch to 5K running plan at the gym, and I'm onto week 2, so I think that inspired this latest foray into Dreamyland.

It was one of those dreams where there is so much crammed into it that you can't remember everything, but somewhere in there I was:

• Butchering a dead cow for steaks on an unmade bed in a warehouse, and then apologizing for the mess to a dude from work (He was like oh it's fine, this happens all the time.)

• Put on my running shoes and ran everywhere looking for my car in a Home Depot parking lot (this was insanely fun because for some reason I was really good at running all of a sudden, and I was like THIS IS WHY PEOPLE RUN)
• As I was running, did an awesome somersault over a metal bar by grabbing it and flipping myself over the top, landing in a crouch, and continuing on (this was the highlight, I was seriously impressed with myself even in the dream)
• I had my leather jacket in the dream and there were a bunch of strangely well-dressed drug dealers and their customers sitting in a building that I was hanging out with. The main drug dealer guy wanted to try on my jacket and told me that if I ever needed any drugs, they'd hook me up, and the guy to get them from was named Mr. Toe (wtf?). I said thanks, and the girl who was getting weed or something next to me turned to me and said, "That stuff'll kill you."
• Someone was trying to frame one of the drug dealers for some nuclear mishap or something, using him as a scapegoat, and I asked if the feds would feel better if they actually managed to kill him for it. He laughed and said probably not. For some reason this was a cause of great hilarity amongst the group. I am not responsible for my dreams' crappy sense of humor.
• I was trying to remember to tell the drug people that I'd had a similar dream before (somehow I knew this in the dream) and that they obviously didn't know what was going to happen next because it was an alternate timeline, but that the last time around, the building had exploded right after I left it, killing everyone inside, but I couldn't manage to do it before I woke up. Oh well, they were still alive.

I hope you all enjoyed this session of Dream Bulletpoints and my strategic inclusion of the O RLY owl. I felt he was appropriate.

Also, this conversation happened (in real life, as we were getting ready to sleep):

Me: I think I'd scare myself on an overnight camping trip. I'd be sitting there in the tent freaking out and just start screaming thinking we were going to get eaten by a bear or very large squirrel.

Patrick: What should I do?

Me: Oh, just hug me or something. I'd eventually shut up. But maybe you could scare stuff off if you looked freaky enough. Say you dressed up as a crazy clown with a cleaver and hiked through the woods that way. You know, people would just be coming up a ridge and suddenly they'd see a psychotic clown who was just like, "Hey, what's up?" and walked right by them.

Patrick: I wouldn't wait for the clown to get close enough to say anything. I'd run the other way.

Me: Maybe it would scare bears, too. I bet bears don't like insane clowns.