TMI - Say something Sexy

← TMI Tuesday: December 11, 2012

TMI Tuesday: December 18, 2012

Posted on December 17, 2012

The Sexiest Thing

Photo source: Afroerotik

1. What is the sexiest thing you’ve done in the last two months?

Well, my wife's been sick for the last month with various early winter afflictions, so it certainly hasn't been anything interesting at home.  That’s more an unfortunate statement of fact instead of a complaint. 

The last couple of months have been busy with work, choir practice (don’t laugh), and trying to be a good FFF host.  (The prompt will be up Wednesday, BTW)  Most of my sexiness has been with my wonderful on-line friends.  They are so stunningly beautiful all of them, each in a different way, each very special to me which makes all of my time with them sexy time.  Some call to complain, to vent and to cry.  Others call when they are horny and just need a masterful voice on the other end of the line.  Some call via Skype, sometimes to watch, sometimes to be watched, and both work very well for me.

The best, best, best thing that’s happened in the past two months is that I’m working for real money, in an office with a door that locks and thick walls.   Enough said, right?

2. What is the sexiest thing you’ve worn in the last 30 days?

Black and Gold spandex swimming shorts with a red tank top as I walked in to the gym.  Heather, the adorably cute blond at the front desk, commented that it was a good day for swimming and, and (she really said this, I promise), that I looked as if I could go for hours.  She then laughed, blushed, and said, “I meant swimming!!!”  I just looked at her until she turned beet red.  It was hilarious.

3. What is the sexiest thing you’ve watched in the last 30 days?

See answer #1.  She was on her bed and was open to suggestions.

4. What is the sexiest thing you’ve heard in the last two weeks?

Besides Heather’s faux paus?  I had a friend call me with the express purpose of getting off.  She was alone and had a few minutes and wanted to hear my voice, gain my permission, and find release.  Conversation was light but superfluous and time at a premium.  She told me what she wanted because I forced her to say it out loud.  Unless you can claim it, you can’t have it, that’s my motto.  She asked, and her wish was granted.  Permission to touch, to spread, to explore was granted and there is this moment, this very very special moment when her voice changed and I know, for the next few minutes, she is mine.

Nothing is sexier than that voice……

5. What is the sexiest thing you’ve said in the last 24 hours?

“You may cum.”

Bonus: Tell us or show us something sexy.

When I first read this, I was, and still am, tempted to refer you to my list of followers.  There are so many wonderful, sexy, intelligent, witty, erotic, amazing, talented, engaging, sultry, seductive women, and men, in my list that I wouldn’t even know where to start. Then I thought about picking my “favorites” but I couldn’t do that either.  How can I pick between such amazing friends.  It would be like asking which I liked better, Mozart, Da Vinci, or Picasso?  How do I pick between so much beauty and wonder?  How can I pick the top 3, but leave out #4 who’s the one who got me through tough times.  How do I list 10, and leave out the next 5?   Lists are a trap, because you, my friends, all make my life happier, my dick harder, and my brain brighter by being with me.

So what can I leave you with that is sexy.  My words are better than my photographs, my thoughts more organized than my paint strokes, and so I am at a loss. 

To “say something sexy” is like being forced to tell a joke.  Ahh, a joke.

I spoke with a beautiful Jewish friend.  She said that I should use her son in the Christmas nativity since having a young Jewish boy seemed appropriate.  I agreed, but warned her, “What ever you do, DON’T volunteer for the Easter Pageant. 

I’m no George Clooney, not even a Brad Pitt, but I’m not Steve Buscemi either.  But I can make you laugh, I give good phone, and laughter is the sexiest thing of all. 

 

————-
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Read more »

FFF Challenge - Dec 7th Prompt

I will try not to start every post with, "I only have a few minutes" but that is just what I have right now.  It's early Sunday morning and the house is quiet, but that won't last long.  My little one wakes up at 6:00 +/- and, well, we aren't a family that sleeps in.

Also, without a lot of time you won't get my philosophical treatise on Flash  Fiction Friday, that challenges of picking a prompt word that isn't too self-serving (because yes, I will always select pictures that I like), or hear a discussion about if it's unfair that I get to think about the pictures for longer than anyone else, well, cause I'm the host.  It probably is.

FFF has been a part of my blog for over 2 1/2 years.  My first FFF is here, "Driven, Beaten, Hammered" and OMGOSH it was fun to see the list of names in the comments.  Sadly, many of those bloggers are no longer with us, but they were, and are, still important to me. But! enough of sentimentality.  You are all here for a naughty picture to write about and not for my musings about days long past.

This first picture was shared with me by David Sharp from  A view from the top and I am grateful for his contribution.

Here is this week's picture.  
The challenge phrase (and this is the hard part):  Decision.  
The word limit is 150 or 300 if you do the extra credit

Extra credit is given for writing from both perspectives
And the Extra Extra credit is to not use the word "fuck"

But, if you've read my blog for any length of time, you know that the main thing I do is break the rules, so I may not stick to them myself. That's the FUN of FFF.

And writing these should be fun.
It's not a competition
It's not a contest.
I give out no prizes.
My only reward is a laugh, a smile, a hard cock, and, on occasion, I'll admit, a messy desk.

This should be fun for everyone.  So help me in expanding the world of FFF.  Send this post to anyone you think would enjoy it.  Ask your friends to play along.  Have them follow my blog or just forward them the link.  I want to hear what you wonderful people have to say.

This is going to be good!

More housekeeping.  I'm going to put up my post on Friday morning at 3:00 AM Seattle, USA time.  But I'm trying to figure out a way that's easier to collect links from participants so you don't have to wait until Friday morning to add your link.  You'll hear more on that later, but now, my house is stirring and I must go.  And, as always, if you have picture ideas, please e-mail them to me or submit them through my other tumblr, "More Bad Advice"

Happy Sunday and let's start writing!!!!

Read more »

FFF 10-7 - Coffee Talk

78-208
Enthusiastically

 Coffee Talk:  ‘So there I was, a young girl, a virgin mind you, in the middle of New York City, the fucking Big Apple itself and not a penny to my name.  Well, not quite penniless, I had a few Traveler’s Checks with me, I mean really, who leaves home without them, but anyway I was almost penniless, had no where to stay.  I had my brother’s ratty army backpack with a few pair of clean underwear, 2 pairs of pants, maybe four shirts, maybe five, anyway, I have no change to call anyone, right, so I go into this little electronics shop, you know the kind, right? Like the ones near Time Square that have a million “Big Sale” signs in the front windows, the cheap starburst kinds with the garish orange, oh God how I hare orange always did.  Where was I? That’s right, Time’s Square, New York, the mother-fucking Big Apple itself, when I find myself in this little shop that sold the cheapest stereos and cameras known to man and the guy behind the counter won’t cash my Traveler’s Check so I can make a phone call.  “Fuck you” he says, “Fuck YOU!” I says, and I’m about to leave when this Adonis, this drop-dead-panties-wet-get-me-to-the-church-on-time Adonis walks out and tells his dad to call down.  Well! He won’t break my $20-mother-Effing check either, but he tells me he’ll do me one better.  He takes me up stairs to his apartment, lets me use his phone to call Mary, not Aunt Mary, but the other Mary, Belinda’s Mary, not Tony’s Mary, and then he spins me around, kisses me, strips me naked, fucks the living shit out of me. ME!  Of all people!  A virgin one minute and a New York slut the next.  He pulls me to his lap and slides that monster cock of his deep inside and goes at it.  I respond, who knew? Right, me, yeah, who knew I’d spread my virgin thighs so enthusiastically, but there I was, straddling this Adonis, this Greek God, right here.”  She pats the couch affectionately, “This is where you were conceived.”  She sighs as the memory fades, “Does that answer your question?” 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Audition:

What do you think?

Oh fuck.

Is that good?

Shut up

 I won’t say a word; he’s cute though, right?

Yea, he’s…..ooooohhhhhh

What?

He’s FINE, yes, oh fuck,

OK, I mean he’s cute, not like that last guy, Ick, did you see his foreskin?

SHUT UP!

Is he worth $500?  Not to be cheaps…

Aaaaaannnnghhhh

Are you OK?

OH FUCK!!

It’s your sister’s bachelorette party. I have no idea how to pick a stripper.

He’ll do just fine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 The Couch:
Scene:  Therapist’s office with couch.  Man and woman in coitus, 2^nd woman adjacent.

Wife:                     I know the theory sexual surrogacy, that doesn’t mean I like it.

Doctor:                 Why does it bother you? 

Wife:                     WTF Why?  Because he’s fucking you right in front of me.

Doctor:                 That bothers you?

Wife:                     Yes, it bothers me. 

Doctor:                 You wanted him to be a better lover.

Wife:                     But with me, not you.

Doctor:                 He can’t get hard with you, isn’t that what brought you in?

Wife:                     I thought you were just going to give him a pill or something

Doctor:                 I’m a holistic healer.

Wife:                     What are you doing now?

Doctor:                 I’m showing him how to stimulate my clit.

                                Do you see how wet that makes me George?

Husband:             Gasping, uh-huh, yeah.

Wife:                     Now he’s going to want to do that to me?

Doctor:                 You job is to please him, and him you.  I think he’s very competent.

Wife:                     What does that mean?  Are you blaming this on me?

Doctor:                 All I know is that I’ve cum twice while we’ve been talking.

Wife:                     Oh great.  Has he cum yet?

Doctor:                 Not yet, he’s hard as a rock.

Wife:                     Well wrap this up, insurance only pays for an hour….
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

OK, the formatting is not working and I am way over the work limit on #1, and I'm out of time to write a commentary, but I thought the picture was fun and sexy and had lost of potential, I hope I did it justice.  The one thing I do know is that this woman just would not shut up....  :-)

Have a wonderful Friday, find a reason to laugh, and go check out Panser’s site for a list of others who joined in today.

Read more »