TMI - Why can't we be friends?

Can we be just friends?

1. Have you ever had a friendship with a someone where you secretly (or not so secretly) desired them?

OF COURSE, let's start the list.... Donna, Stephanie, Lori, Michelle....Lately it's been M, K, K2, K (lots of K women in my life right now.)  The best friend of the bunch is M, she's an ex-coworker who became a friend, but she's a real friend.  We talk about boys (the one she has, the one she wants), babies,  (my 3, her's is on the way), work, life, God, faith, news, music, we go to lunch and talk and, when the moments get quiet, we can reach across the table for a lingering touch and them move along with our days.  I count her as my best local friend and she knows I'm madly in love with her. 

2. Are you prone to jealousy, suspicion or insecurity when your partner spends time with an attractive close friend without you? Why?

I've never been a jealous one.  If you want to be with me, be with me, if not, don't.  I can't, I won't try to force anyone to be my friend, lover, partner, cyber-F-buddy.  That means that every time you come home, share a moment, send an e-mail, it's because you want to be there. 

3. Has a previously platonic friendship ever bloomed into a sexual relationship?

I've had girls go from friend to girlfriend and back again, and then back again (it was confusing).  I've known a lot of my GF's as friends before they became GFs.  It was the nature of my social scene at high school, and in college.  We had a large group of friends from sports, band, choir, drama, church, etc, and we all knew each other.  Eventually we started pairing up, spending time alone, and turning in to couples.  I'm not a super fast mover so I usually know then for a while before I try anything.  My friend whom I met for coffee last summer can attest to that.  i should have moved faster, much faster.

4. Have you ever remained close friends with an ex-lover?

After time, yes, but it takes a while.  I think you have to be in a differnt place and that means you've met and dated other people, you've healed, raged, forgiven, and come around to a better place.  Now, some of my "breakups" have been pretty amicable, so the cycle goes faster.  I broke up with A because we both knew it was a bad match, we were friends for too long and then being lovers was awkward, so we just went back to being friends.  Besides, she didn't get any of my jokes.  That was a deal killer.

Bonus: Have you ever developed feelings for a “friend with benefits”? How did it develop, unfold, resolve?

I've never had a strictly FWB situation, I kind of had it with a friend in college, but we both knew we were kidding oruselves.  Ilked her, she liked me for different reasons, we got a long for a while, but it blew up badly in a squash court over her new "friend" who was more than a friend.  Replacing the raquet was $75, getting kicked out of the gym for yelling was infuriating, having to apologize to her for being a total ass was just awful.  FsWBs rarely end well. 



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