I've come to understand

For someone who thinks he has a pretty broad sense of sexuality, there are some kinks that I just don't understand.

A friend of mine went on a date arranged through Ashley Madison the other day. It was just a simple lunch, a meet-n-greet just to get to know each other. There are low expectations so it was a bit surprising that he seems so nervous. She thought perhaps that he hadn't done this too many times before, stepping out on the spouse, putting home and heart at risk. They had a pleasant enough conversation over lunch, over hamburgers and a salad, a glass of white wine, and shared desert.

Why so nervous she asked herself, then she asked him

“Why so nervous?”

“I, I... “  He could not answer

Later that afternoon she got an e-mail with an explanation. He sent a link with the phrase, "I was wearing these." With trepidation she clicked on the link, and her disappointment, looked at a pair of men's size women's underwear. A cross-dresser, a complete deal-breaker, she really wanted a man, a real man.

Now, to my cross-dressing friends, I mean no offense. But as I stated earlier, there are some fetishes that I do not understand. Don't get me wrong, I love women's underwear. I have bought it for my wife, for my friends, and on a dare, for my pastor's wife. As a side note, she was surprised that I got the right size in every way.

I love lingerie on women. Not on me, unless it's on her and she's on me.

I also don't understand pony girls. What on earth is the attraction of dressing up like a horse? I seriously don't get that. On HBO's aging series, "Real Sex," I saw the same documentary three Thursday nights in a row while traveling for business. Beautiful woman put on hooves, saddles, and bridles and pranced around the backyard some rich pervert’s home. They were pretty, they were ready to fuck, so why on earth dress them up like a horse? A friend of mine admitted to having a butt plug that had a tail, if that excites you, but I like butt plug, not the tail. She's too pretty, too sexual, to wonderful to treat as anything but a beautiful, sexual, woman.

She is however, a fan of spanking, another “thing” I didn’t get. While physically separated and unable to administer the spankings myself, my opinions have started to change. I've seen what it does to her,. I see her reaction that sharp crack on the ass of the wooden spoon, open hand, or silk wrap board. The look on her face is priceless of that particular moment, and I have learned to enjoy it, at least vicariously. I've never had the opportunity, invitation, or inkling to do it in person. My wife would not appreciate the creativity, but she could use a good smack on the ass once in a while.

Another kink I don't get is latex. I like the latex costumes, the skintight stretching, but I do not understand the binding, the suffocating games, or the mask that covers my face or hers preventing kissing or intimacy of most kinds. Perhaps it is because I'm a complete claustrophobe when it comes small spaces and the inability to breathe. If you want to tie me up, that's fine but I prefer to be spread-eagled and open as opposed to bound tightly in a ball. Don’t cut off my air bitch, I won’t forgive you for that one.

I think I can trace this one pretty easily back to my youth when my two older brothers would throw me in the toy box under the window and sit on the lid. I can still hear them watching Hogan's Heroes on the small black-and-white TV borrowed from my dad’s room and feel my bloodied my knuckles punching the wood under their fat asses.  They never relented until I was in tears, as a nine-year-old, it didn't take me long.

Hunter Thompson once claimed that there were no new perversions to be found and reportedly offered a $25,000 reward for a truly unique perversion and I don't think he ever had to pay out the money. The ancient Greeks didn't have latex, they had silk.

Silk is a wonderful fabric. In thin strips we can tie down, in large swaths they can cover wrap enclose and enfold. One of my most singular memorable moments is almost impossible to describe in a way that does it justice. In one of those rare moments when my afternoon was clear and her family was gone we had an open-ended play session on Skype. I told her to come prepared with toys and five silk scarves. She was very obedient.

Kneeling on her bed in full view of the camera she bound her ankles together and slipped in her silver bullet. It began to buzz and hum inside her causing her to gasp as I describe what was about to happen.  That was orgasm #1.

Knowing that I could not be there for her in person, one scarf was tied around each wrist with enough slack to allow her to move, giving her the symbolic feeling of being bound by her master. The second two was is inserted on command and it didn't take long until climax #2 followed.  With her hands and feet bound, she fell forward on her elbows and #3 and #4 crashed over her.  She begged for water, for time off, time to recover.
I said no.  "Are you ready?"

"No sir." She was still gasping in the power of the aftershocks from number four.

"Excellent." I said, "We will begin."

Scarf number four is wrapped loosely around her neck. I had no intention of watching my friend pass out thousands of miles away. unable to help revive her. There are no such things as safe words on Skype. She has to be able to save herself so I gave her flexibility in obedience. She put around her beautiful neck, snuggled up wrapped it one more time and knotted it loosely.

"I can feel you behind me." She said "I can feel you tugging on the silk making it tight. I can feel you pulling on my ankles forcing me into position.”   She was of sight to behold.

Her nipples came into play and soon #5 was upon her. With her hands bound loosely she was the perfect sight of tangled obedience.

Are you really ready?"

“Yes Master.”

“Cover your face with scarf number five tied behind your head.”

“But then I won’t be able to see you." She complained

“I know, that's the point.”

“"No, no, no”, she begged

Finally, she covers her beautiful face and I almost regretted that. The look on her face at orgasm is amazing. She loses herself completely and it thrills me. I had been hard and dripping for two hours as we played I knew that my orgasm would not outlast hers. I regretted the loss of an audience, but I knew that this was special, something good was building, and she would enjoy it more than she could imagine at the moment.

“Show me your other toy, the big one.. “

Her hands searched around the bed in frustration. It had rolled away from the place that she put it at the beginning. I told her have her toys out and ready for use, it wasn’t where she needed to be, she couldn't find the third.

“Dammit,” she said in frustration.

“Don't swear”, I said, “You know I don't like it when you use bad language.”

“Yes sir”

“May I remove the scarf to find it?” She asked

“No you may not. “

"Keep looking." I said.

I sat back in my office chair and watched her struggle, her beautiful body on display, her need to comply making her seek furiously for the tool I intended her to use. Finally, under several folds of ruffled fabric, she found it, like a small child trying to please a parent she held it up to the camera and put it on display.

"But it's too big."

“One more complaint and we are finished.”

I saw her reach down between her legs and extract steel gray bullet from her backside. She let it drop onto the towel that I had her prepare, not wanting to soil the bed linens forcing her to explain another late-night laundry run. From between her lips she extracted the long smooth vibrating cock .

“Let me see,” I said.

She pulled it out and showed me it’s glistening brightness.

She displayed it for the camera and reached back between her legs and inserted the larger to into the smaller hole. Orgasm #6 was almost immediate. I could not see her face but I can hear and it was beautiful.

"Deeper please."

She gasped, rocked forward to her elbows and began pumping madly. I knew it would fit, and I knew it would fit well.

“Kneel up!” I said.  She struggled up on trembling legs. “I want to see you”

I could see the wet silk in front of her mouth blow in and out with each breath. She sucked in air and it formed a perfect circle outlining her open mouth and her full lips. When she exhaled she created a small bubble around her face covering her skin with warm exhaled air adding to the heat she felt between her legs. I knew she didn't like that feeling, I also knew what was about to happen.

“Insert toy #3” I said.

“no, please”

“Insert #3.” I said it deliberately. No room for disobedience. She rocked back on her heels spread wide and slowly pushed the large rabbit between her overly sensitive and engorged lips.

“Do not cum.”

“Why?” I could hear tears in her voice.

“Because I like to watch.”

Her chest heaved up and down, her beautiful breasts swaying .  I waited, and watch, and waited some more.

“Now.”

Her entire body shook. It was not just an orgasm, it was a climax. It was a climax in the truest sense of the word.  Everything had let up to just this moment, bound, hooded, kneeling naked and exposed before my camera, dripping wet, inflamed in every inch, she now filled herself completely and gave into my one-word command.

“Cum.”

If there birds in the trees outside her home, they fled in-flight at her first wail.

If there were neighbors at home next door they reached quickly to dial 911 because, though they didn't know what, something wicked was happening next door.

If there were air raid shelters in the neighborhood, they quickly filled as her voice filled the air with the sirens call of pleasure and finality.

It was her best performance yet. I'm not sure how she counted it that night or whether she counted that last one as one, or as three as I urged her on and on.  I saw her head snap back, veiled, hidden but obvious twice more at the sound of my voice. Was it 7, 8, 9? It doesn't matter.

If you add the two from me we might've reach 10 or 11 together.

Two years ago I would've said there are lots of kinks that I don't understand.

I have come to understand a few.