What I Did This Past Weekend OR How I Broke Into My Own House, Bought Boots And Then Hiked 6 Miles In Them The Very Next Day

Because THAT is how I roll, y'all.

Saturday was absolutely beautiful, so we'd done some yardwork (I planted flowers and yanked weeds, Patrick mowed, we both raked). Following said yardwork, we got cleaned up and decided to go get our few odds and ends we needed at Home Depot, Fred Meyer, etc. We closed various windows around the house, just in case someone should decide to pilfer what little earthly possessions we have while we were out. As we were getting ready to depart, I asked Patrick if I needed to bring anything like keys, money, whatever. He replied that no, he had it all, and I didn't need anything. I stepped out the door, and as usual he locked the bottom lock of the door (there's a deadbolt on top) before shutting it behind us.

The instant he closed the door, he turned to me with this look that I can only describe as UH OH. (You guys know exactly the look I'm talking about, I'm sure.)

Indeed, he had locked us out of the house. He'd felt his pockets beforehand and somehow his brain had noticed the presence of the wallet and just assumed the keys were there as well. The keys were not there. To make matters worse, he didn't have the number of the landlady's son (who does stuff around the place) in his phone, and mine was of course inside. He's generally religious about checking for stuff before he leaves, so this was a complete surprise.


Oh dear, what to do? We went around to the back to make sure the French doors were locked, and indeed they were. We don't leave a key outside, and we'd closed and locked all the decently sized windows. What did that leave? Two tiny windows on the south-facing window in the living room. Let me see if I can find a picture to illustrate:

This picture is incredibly old, before Patrick moved in, but it does show the window. See that tiny square the arrow's pointing at?

That one right there? THAT is what I ended up crawling through.

And this barely shows the window at all, but this is what it looks like now. With a TREE in front of it. And a computer, both on a huge, heavy table. And a keyboard on its own separate table.

Yeah. That.

Amusingly, I'd said just before we left how we probably didn't need to bother closing either of those windows (they've got screens on them, so we can get some air in), because either no one could fit through them or they'd have to fight their way through the huge lilac bush in order to do it, and by the time they'd done all of that, they'd have sort of earned their loot.

We had two options: call a locksmith and pay about $70, or try to break in. Me being the cheapass that I am, I decided to try the second option first. I wiggled my way between the lilac's limbs and stared intently at the window. I'm pretty good at estimating whether clothing will fit me or not, and I figured a window would be about the same. The window situation looked promising, so I started trying to get the screen out of it. I finally kind of smashed the thing (although the screen itself is still intact, the frame is what's all wonky), and ripped it out of the window. Gurgles, meanwhile, was perched directly inside, staring at me. I'm sure he was wondering what the hell I was doing.

Me: Gurgles! Move! MOVE. Get out of the way! Obviously I'm trying to climb in the window. Haven't you ever seen that before? GET OUT OF THE WAY. Stupid cat. (Although at the time, he was probably all, oh NOW who's stupid, Mrs Climbing In Her Own Window? Whatever. It's a good thing cats can't speak English.)

On Patrick's brilliant suggestion (as opposed to my initial [very stupid] thought, which was just trying to climb through all that crap), I shoved the desk containing the tree and computer out of the way, then pushed the keyboard on its separate stand off to the side. I asked him for a bit of leverage, and once he'd gotten his hands braced under one of my feet, I dragged myself in through the window. I am so glad I'm not fatter, y'all. As it was, climbing through that window gave me some impressive thigh bruises from my weight resting on the narrow sill.

We were back in! VICTORY! Having learned that you can in fact get in those windows, we made sure to close and lock them before we left again (AFTER making sure we had our keys, both sets, just in case). We went to Home Depot and investigated screens. It appears you have to make your own, you can't just buy the things, so we're going to try to figure out a way to use the messed up one we have now. All it has to do is keep the cats inside the house, anyway. We also got more shears, since I murdered the last pair by trying to use them as a sort of Roto-Rooter. Apparently I don't know how garden tools work.

After that fun ordeal, we decided that smoothies were in order, so we stopped off and each got a delicious fruity beverage to sip while we planned our next move. We'd originally only had designs on a general errand trip, but Patrick was feeling generous toward me after my heroic home invasion, so he suggested going to get me some hiking boots a little early. I made a few weak noises about waiting until he got glasses first and self-control, etc, but then I cracked and gave in.

We headed off to the Seattle REI, which is actually the flagship store. It has a giant climbing rock in it, which is pretty sweet if you're into that sort of thing.

That's the climbing rock, right there. It's also got a giant parking garage, which is niiiice in Seattle. And rare.

I hadn't been there in ages, probably not since around the time I was in college. I got my first ever real backpack at this store. I wonder whatever happened to it... Anyway, there were a million people in it, and we waited a while to be helped, but it all worked out just fine. Poor Patrick got to sit there while I tried on boots over and over for about 1.5 hours. You know, when you're buying something really expensive, you need to be DAMN SURE you've got the right one. Fortunately they have a little rocky thing inside the store that you can walk over to see whether the hiking boots you've got on are going to hurt you going up and down hills, or if you don't have good support when stepping on rocks, and so forth.

Perfection in boot form.

These are the boots I ended up with. They're about one step down from mountaineering boots, since I told the guy I needed them for cross-country hiking, along with doubling as hunting and carcass-dragging boots. They should hold up against anything, and I won't get my feet wet in the snow. Since it was financially advantageous to do so, we got an REI membership ($20 for a lifetime one got me 20% off some really expensive boots, so it paid for itself right away). I also got some liners and socks, along with these green arch support things for the boots, and Patrick got some leather cleaner for his own pair of backpackers.

Anyway, after getting the boots, I was still on this king crab kick I'd been experiencing all day, so we went to the store and bought ourselves a nice pile of giant dead sea spider. Dear God, was that tasty! We had the crab for dinner with artichokes and milk. Yum.

Sunday morning we got up and had a leisurely breakfast of lobster ravioli and grapefruit, along with some goat milk yogurt and blueberries. (The lobster ravioli is a really good price at Sam's Club, if you're interested.) We'd briefly contemplated going to the zoo, but it seemed like we'd have more fun if we got out somewhere away from people. I have those days where I really just can't stand the crush of humanity around me any longer, and I need to get away.

I'd read all about the breaking-in process for boots and such, involving short walks in them, wearing them around the house, etc, but did any of that stick in my head? OF COURSE NOT! No, no, we decided that we needed to break them in by going on a hike. That turned out to be 6 miles long in total. We packed up our crap and took off for the Boulder River Wilderness, about 1 hour away from where we live to the trailhead. Since our breakfast had been rather slow-paced, we arrived at the trailhead about 2:30pm. People were leaving, which is always a good sign at a hiking spot because it means there will be fewer of them to actually run into on the trail itself.

The hike itself wasn't difficult. There was some elevation gain, a few muddy and/or rocky spots, and a bit of water over the trail here and there, but on the whole it was a really enjoyable hike. We saw multiple waterfalls and got to take in a bunch of mountain air. We went about three miles in, and then decided to turn around. The entire hike is approximately 4.3 miles, 8.6 roundtrip, but this was supposed to be a breaking-in hike after all, so we decided not to push it. The only real problem with hiking on rocky trails is that you're so busy staring at the ground to make sure you don't faceplant that you don't notice the pretty stuff around you, which was sort of the entire point of going on the hike in the first place. We tried to make a point of stopping occasionally and just appreciating.

One of the waterfalls along our trek. The growth in this forest was just amazing. Ferns everywhere, giant trees that must be 300-400 years old at least.

All in all, I'd say the boots were a raging success. I didn't get any blisters, although one of my heels was starting to rub a bit. They quite successfully kept me safe from moisture, mud, rocks, and big logs. My toes didn't smash into the ends, and nothing got really chafed anywhere. We did a little bit of climbing in a couple spots, mostly to get a decent look at the river, and they served equally well in that capacity. I think I might layer the green arch supports I got over the original insoles next time to see if that gives me even more support. I have incredibly high arches, and without a lot of support I tend to be in excruciating pain after a few miles. By themselves, the arch supports I got were all right, but there was definite arch tension developing in my right foot by mile 5 or so.

I am turning into such an athletic type, I tell you! Friday I went down to Pioneer Square to keep Patrick company when he wasn't able to get out of work in a timely fashion, and I quite successfully did my jogging program all the way there. I'm on the second week of it, and I can really see the progress. Running on the pavement is so much different than running on a treadmill, but I did it. And the hike we took on Sunday was far and away easier than the one we took last year on the Iron Goat Trail. The trails themselves were pretty comparable, and I'm sure it's just that I'm in much better shape now than I was then.

More running this week for the program, and hopefully another hike next weekend. Montana hunting season, here I come!