be happier in the waiting.

Nature abhors a vacuum, and so does our mind.  We try to fill in the gaps with and explanation before one is even needed, and the immediacy of the Internet makes things worse.  We expect our "other" to be on-line and available all the time.  ALL the time, and when minutes, hours, or, heaven forbid, days go by, we assume the worst and we take that pre-emptive strike.    I'm old enough to remember writing letters, sending them off, and having to wait days for a phone call in return.  We've trained ourselves to expect NOW to be 10 seconds ago.  It's not good for any of us, so we are certainly with you in your worries, but I think we all need to relax a bit, and try to be happier in the waiting.


 I wrote this in response to a post by Luna Moon and I've been thinking about it more since then.

To be happy in the waiting.
To be confident in the silence.
To be content in knowing that we are loved and that we love in return.

It is hard to do in our digital age.  Politicians rise and fall minute by minute as fickle voters give them "Thumbs up" or "Thumbs Down" based on a zinger over health care, or a stupid statement over immigration.  Lovers come and go based on a good e-mail, a well chosen picture, or a poorly worded tweet.

Really?  did she just say what I thought she said?  She it out!  That bitch!  Oh, wait, you meant that "A storm is brewing was about the weather?  Oh, shit, I'm sorry.....Come back!  Damn, Oh well, who's next?

We fall in and out of infatuation too easily, too quickly in both directions, we are unhappy in the waiting.  I track 4 time zones on my phone in addition to the US zones that are readily recalled. I know when my "others" are awake and "should be" on-line to read my e-mails.  And 2 hours later, with no response, my thoughts race to explain, until I realize she turns off her phone at work or her hands are covered in paint, or the hospital doesn't allow cell phones because it makes patients explode.  Then I start tracking quitting time, and heaven help you if you go out to dinner with your husband and ignore ME for another hour, and damn why can't you play, where is everyone?????

We are impatient in the waiting  Test results take days, and we want our bad news in minutes.  We listen to the soundbite, but not the argument, we look for the zinger, but not the conclusion, we think mottoes are too long and bumper stickers could use some serious editing.

A friend is on hiatus from the Internet and it has taught me a lesson.  Write, wait, do something else, and then smile when her name appears.  She's still out there, she is still my friend, but her real life, her physical life, comes first, and that is a good thing.

As I have been home and not at my desk with a locked door for 8 hours, I learning patience, to turn off my phone and leave it off.  My friends are still there, being cute, losing weight, acting sexy, writing smut, making me cum, helping me smile.  I am finding joy in the waiting, because I know you are out there, waiting for me too.