1. What sexual act arouses you the most? For that matter, what nonsexual act arouses you the most?
It all depends on how you define “sex act.” One of my favorite things is to have a friend type, “I want to cum.” That act of admitting their need to me is incredibly sexy. Or maybe it is a request, “May I cum?” The acting of claiming your sexuality is powerful. If it’s a physical act, then it’s the shift from sex to fucking, when you begin to position your body, not for my pleasure, but for yours, it tells me you are in it with me, that you need it as much as I do. Non-sexual things? Show up to the gym and work out hard, do whatever you like to do, and do it well. Or read a book and ask me to discuss it, or follow the news, or just go out to coffee with me and let me laugh with you.
2. What is your signature or “go to” move that is sure to get a lover in the mood for sex?
What’s my signature move? This one actually made me laugh. Again, we have to split it in between sexual and non-sexual moves since the question says it is to get someone “in the mood.” To get my wife in the mood I have to take out the trash, finish up the dishes, get the kids in bed, and have the house shut down by 10:00 pm The most important thing, however, is to turn off the TV. Once we are on the couch watching TV sex goes out the window. I have to do my part to set the scene. In many ways this is a depressing question because it reminds me how infrequently “the mood” strikes. We have sex on a schedule (Mondays), sometimes in the morning (thank goodness for morning wood and lube), and on sex-related holidays, like my birthday, our anniversary, and Valentine’s. Once set, the “mood” is easily lost, so we avoid discussions about my job, her sister, her mother (crazier), D1’s homework, or my desires.
3. Do you queef?
I don’t’ think it’s anatomically possible for me to do so, but pretty much every other bodily noise is fair game.
4. What’s the weirdest thing that’s happened to YOU as a result of your sex writings (e.g., blog, erotica, sex toy reviews)? (borrowed from Insatiabear)
The weirdest thing is how much my thinking has changed. I see myself as more creative, more dominant at times, more exploratory. I’ve met wonderful people I can’t talk about at home. I’ve taken risks, I’ve been more creative, I’ve explored my faith in strange ways, and I’m open to new things. I also find myself censoring myself constantly in real life to make sure I don’t admit to any of the above.
5. Have you ever had sex while someone watched?
Does a web cam count? If no, then no.
…someone else was in the room?
I have had sex while someone else listened. It happened on our trampoline last summer at 11:30pm. We were on the blankets and things were going well when our neighbor across the wall (too high to see over) came out to give the dog his nighttime potty break. My wife was getting close so she didn’t notice, but I heard our neighbor and heard him “Shhh” someone and then he got very quiet. I’m sure he heard her cum, and I made sure he heard me.
…someone else in the bed, next to you and the person you’re having sex with?
I frequently have visitors in my head, again, does that count?
What were the circumstances?
None, yet.
6. When it comes to sex, and discussing it with your teen have you or would you:
a. Let school sex education handle it
God bless the schools for trying. I expect them to give out factual and current medical information and lead discussions among the kids about how they are handling the transition into sexual people. I have high expectations that aren’t being met, yet, but I KNOW most of my daughter’s friend’s parents are doing a crappy job. The best case is a combination of parents and teachers giving a well-rounded approach.
As much as I want my kids to delay sexual activity as long as possible, I want them fully armed in case they choose otherwise.
b. Hand the teen a book or point them to a website
A website? Really? Ha ha ha…. HA HA HA>>> OH MY! You are tooo funny. Education from a website? Yea, like the University of RedTube? Or Deviant Girls.com? Yeah, that’s what I want my 14 year old to learn. But seriously, NO.
As for a book…My mom gave me a book and I’m dying that I can’t remember the name but it had pictures, line drawings, of girl parts, and it helped me understand how women were built, because before then, I had some real misconceptions about the anatomy and location of certain things. When I realized that most of it was on the inside, it made a lot more sense. But then again, I was 12.
c. Talk frankly and openly
Oh yes. This is where the schools had a real hand in things. 7th grade health covers it all, so before my daughters started school, we had the talk. Well, my wife had the talk. My daughter was, for a 12 year old, properly mortified that yes, that thing will eventually go in her thing and a baby may, or may not, pop out a while later. My oldest daughter calls it “the butt sex talk” because the curriculum covers oral, vaginal, and anal sex. D1 was OK with how babies were made long before 7th grade because she asked, and we answered, but the other two acts, well, that was news to her. It was all my wife could do to keep a straight face at the horrified reaction. But, again, the schools did their part, we just filled in our moral and ethical view on things and all is well. But she’s still shocked that someone would want to suck on it.
The real payoff is that now, as a 15 year old who really likes to hang out with boys, she knows how things work (see story below), why you shouldn’t do anything as a 15 year old, what might happen if you do, and that nothing funny’s going on. I tell her how boys think, not to scare her, but to help her understand. I point out what flirting is when she tells me about the silly things the boys do. It’s fun to shock her with the ideas that the boys are starting to notice. It is what happens when a fun, cute, athletic 15-year-old girl hits puberty with a vengeance.
d. Avoid it all together–society, friends, and the internet will give all the info needed
I will add one story that shoes you really can’t, and shouldn’t avoid it at all. My faith community is very conservative. Abstinence is the expectation, most kids are good kids, and sexual activity is pretty low through the younger teen years. Last year one of the girls got pregnant. She is a wonderful kid and so young (15), that it was very sad. The church, however, leg by a very sensitive pastor, handled it perfectly. With her, and her parent’s permission, it was discussed in several small group meetings. They talked about sex, and abstinence, and how God’s standards were not the world’s standards and gently put some moral context around not just her decision, but the decisions we all make. The love and support for this young girl was amazing. No condemnation, no nasty looks, but lots of help and friendship. I know that almost every family had a discussion about sex that summer. She went through her pregnancy and delivered a healthy baby boy that was placed with a family to raise as their own. Because of some wise and caring adults, factual and accurate information, and lots of talking around dinner tables at home, a whole group of kids learned about sex, the reality of getting pregnant, the dangers and blessings of being sexually active, and what it means to be responsible and loving teenagers. Avoiding “the talk”, pretending it will take care of itself, is just foolishness of the most irresponsible kind.
I’m to sexy for this shirt, I can tell you that much.
I’m to sexy for my job, to sexy for my church, to sexy for my wife, that’s for sure. I’m not sexy enough for most of my blogger friends, they are all too sexy for me.
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Happy TMI Tuesday!
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