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All day long I've been trying to get an addendum to this post written. I've talked to two friends about it and I'm still not capturing the exact idea, but I'll try.
I found this cheery little graphic months ago, probably on Tumblr, and tucked it away. Last week, on the road and feeling a little blue, I posted it up and moved on, forgetting, until this morning, that it was about to post. I thought about taking it down because today I'm in a great mood and was from the moment I woke up, so why bring everyone down, right?
I left it up because it is a part of the story. If blogging is my journal and my soapbox, I have to let it stand on it's own and reveal a little of the ups and downs I go through. Not every day is all lubes and whips in Sexland. In fact, most days are work and commute in Suckville, right?
The other part of the thoughts rattling in my head is the idea of transperancy in blogging. I've made no secret that I have lots of friends on line, some are chat friends, some are on a more intimate basis, some just make me laugh, and the best ones do all this and more. One of those friends brought me down the other day, nothing malicious, just a comment and a ...well, it's just one of those little things that made reality suck a little more and my fantasy fade a little faster. This moment, much more seriously and well told can be found here, and that's maybe why it was on my mind.
And, as a caveat, none of this is about you (you know who you are), neither is it about you (the people who don't think it may be about them, but might be, not this time, but another time). And here in lies the problem. I don't want to write caveats, or warning e-mails ("Don't read tomorrow's post until you remember the thing I said last Sunday) or hide my relationships (yes, i know I said that, but you didn't understand, I know, she's always been my friend), nor do I want to have to apologize for speaking my mind (You know how I felt, you know I blog, hell, we met through the blog, I'm not going to stop....)
So, how do you blog with a little bit of honesty (emotionally at least) while trying to keep the peace with multiple friends, without having to shade every post and self-censor each line tha tmight be mis-read by another blogger, since we all read each other and we all think everything is about us?
BTW - I have a whole different post about jealosy that I don't have time to get in to, but I think the Internet is redefining it for me.
Agh, I new this wouldn't come out right. So I'll summarize.
- I posted today's picture because I'm sad over one relationship, while wildly happy about others.
- It's not about you, usually.
- I need to share somethings without making a big deal over other things.
- While I love you all dearly, everyone is, eventually, trumped by someone else, and yes, i know you all talk to other people too, but that doesn't meant that I like it, and as hypocritical as that sounds.
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