Maybe success?

Dreams of the last two nights have been weird and mildly hilarious. The first one involved zombies, which should come as no surprise to any of you who have read about my nightmares, but these were apparently for tourists! They asked if I wanted to take my picture with them. I declined...

The other one seemed like it was flavored with bad, as if it was going to go south pretty quickly, but then the thing in it that was going to become horrifying got bored and wandered off. Really strange.

This sort of fits with what the doctor said might happen with the dreams. They just get altered, I guess. So they're not bad anymore. Or at least, with the vets, sometimes it was a different kind of bad. Like instead of being right in the middle of a war, they'd hear someone outside banging on the door.

At any rate, I call this a win! I've been feeling a little bit less anxious as well, kind of languid. As Patrick pointed out, after three decades of being on edge, not being at full alert all the time would feel rather languid.

Now of course I don't know if this is the drug or just a placebo effect, so I'll give it a while before passing full judgment on its efficacy. But so far I'm really encouraged! The doctor said I could increase it up to 2mg without an additional visit (although I have one on Nov 1 to see how things are progressing), so I may try that after a week or so and see if that makes it so I can have conversations with anyone without trepidation.

I could be all normal and shit, y'all! Crazy thought, I know...

I've had a few mild side effects, nothing that I'm really concerned about. I had a few stabbing head pains yesterday, but they've faded. When I wake up I feel really sunk deep in dreams and laden with fatigue still, but that doesn't really bother me. It goes away once I get up and move around. My heart beats a little faster when walking around, but I haven't had any dizziness or fainting worries at all. I can so deal with all of this. Wouldn't it be great if this really did the trick? I guess it's the first drug of its particular class, so I am one lucky girl that it was discovered.

Research, I heart you so much.