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Monday thoughts


I can call these “Monday thoughts” because it is after midnight and I have not gone to bed on Sunday. To be honest, I had been talking to a close friend, hoping for some playtime, when we lost our connection and could not get it back. The nice thing about the evening was that we talked for about a half an hour about relationships, home life, and the mundane things that friends discuss when they have some catching up to do. It did not make me hard, but it made me happy. After the frustration wore off, I spent some time posting to Tumblr. I find myself on Tumblr more than any other website these days. Redtube.com has introduced a new pop-up/pop-under/screen and highly invasive advertising structure that makes it very unpleasant to use. Plus, I don't find myself interested in most of their videos.  All of their amateurs are professionals, all of their professionals are jaded, none of the orgasms look real, and it just reminds me of what I am not getting. YouPorn and others have always paled in comparison so I find myself watching very few videos. (PornHub still does OK)  I’m getting more and more convinced that they are all run by the same company in the background since the pop-up mechanisms look almost the same. Plus they pop-up to “live” streaming sites with some of the most hideously ugly women on the Internet.  FUCK these women look hammered.  If EVER there was an argument against alcohol, credit cards, and internet access being allowed in the same room, this is it. I launched Skype in the vain hope of catching a friend, but that was pointless. I do not hold any ill will, it's just with the time zone difference sometimes I can catch her when I should really be sleeping I do not sleep well when my wife is out of town I don't sleep well because I don't sleep at all. I stay up too late drifting aimlessly hoping to run into friends that also should be asleep. I have to wake up in four hours and 40 min., so I should go to sleep.  But I’m not, I’m writing. It is at this hour that I must guard against myself and bad decisions brought on by exhaustion. I am only up now because I got a nap while watching TV this afternoon. I should have slept last night, but instead was up and, at 2:30 AM, I made a videotape that now sits, waiting to be deleted, discovered, or shared, if I was wise I would go with option one before I fall asleep. It was the kind of thing that sounds like a good idea when you are horny, bored, lonely, and staring the clock like the enemy.  Now it just sits there mocking me, daring me to send it, taunting me that it could be my undoing, and teasing me that she’ll watch it and just laugh. I should be sleeping. And I swear I put paragraphs in there somewhere.
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